Hostages
Pilot

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 67 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Is Your Sweater On?
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

NOW!

Oh, the Sanders family is not having a good night. Seems the last twelve hours started out well -- they were on top of the world, mostly! -- but it all went down the shitter and now they are all on the couch, with three guns pointed at their heads by scary ninjas. Mom, Dr. Ellen Sanders, played by Toni Collette, is making scary faces; Dad, played by Tate Donovan, and therefore contractually obligated to be 100 percent awesome and 100 percent cheating on his wife; Laxbro Son, a drug dealer and constant blubberer; and their Horrible Daughter, who got secretly pregnant in a pickup truck. On the other hand, you have four ninjas: Dylan McDermott, an FBI hostage negotiator or some such; a black dude who has history with Dylan McDermott: and a guy with a beard and a mysterious Asian lady whose personalities are ... pretty elusive.

12 HRS AGO

Ellen was at a press conference giving deets on her tumor-ectomy of the President's left lung, which she is going to be removing using robots. The robots will take longer, but since it's less invasive he will be up and around a lot faster to be the President again. He is played by Granderbilt's James Naughton, which means he is going to come on all innocent and Presidential but eventually turn out to be a very, very bad man. His wife is Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. She's not in this scene but I just think that's interesting.

Press: "What's it like to be the doctor of the President?"
Ellen: "It is like being a doctor."
Press: "Will you put magic poison in the President?"
Ellen: "Not for at least fourteen more episodes. Thank you."
President: "I feel pretty good about that, even though she is a lady."

In the car with his creepy aide Quentin Creasy, whose name is literally that, the President doesn't seem to be sweating cancer at all.

Quentin: "I like your cancer because of health care! And also because you are a medical patient, just like Americans with medical problems! Plus, she is a lady."
President: "That's true. I am glad we both care about my cancer like we are real people and not politicians."
Quentin: "Not so fast! I am obviously a terrorist."

BANK HEIST!

The music on this show never fucking lets up. Imagine generic music about things being exciting, but then turn up the volume too much.

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Hostages

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