The Cape

Episode Report Card
Montykins: B+ | 1403 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Es-Cape Artist

Title Card: "FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE." A sinister scientist (you know he's sinister because he's got a shaved head and a goatee. And also a Russian accent. And he's a scientist because he's got glasses with extra lenses that can be swiveled down in front of his right eye. Look, he might as well have the words "Sinister Scientist" tattooed on his face, okay?) talks to an impassive man. Another Russian tells the impassive man that he's a prisoner, and not even Gregor the Great can escape a bullet through the head. Gregor the Great (for it is he) just smirks.

Now Gregor (the Great) is in a straitjacket and being led down a rat-infested hallway. Well, I don't know if two rats constitute an "infestation." Especially after that episode of Hoarders. Did you see that? Man, that was messed up. Gregor's locked in a cell, and smirks again. The next scene reveals that he's escaped! He allegedly dislocated every bone in his body so he could fit through a drain. And there's a little key that he appears to have whittled out of one of his own teeth. So! Gregor the Great is a brilliant escape artist, is he? I can only assume this episode will be full of dueling escapes. Oh, and he painted "KOZMO" on the wall, which gives us the official episode title.

The scene now shifts to your average train yard, which, as with all train yards, is populated by hobos and a guy with a trombone. Vince is wearing a trenchcoat and stocking cap as he looks for clues. He doesn't appear to find any.

So instead, we follow some guy driving over a bridge. His license plate is "FILIPS," and he identifies himself as "Phillips" when he calls Ark Industries for backup as a result of his car's door being ripped off the hinges. It's not clear what he sees, but there are a lot of thuds on the soundtrack. He gets out and sees... The Cape! Standing in the middle of the road. Naturally, Phillips pulls out a gun and starts shooting. But The Cape has a car door to hide behind, which is unusual for a guy with no car. And it's apparently one of those bulletproof doors, which suggests that Ark is outfitting its people well. Although they could probably spend a bit more on hinges. Soon, Vince is dangling Phillips over the bridge and tells him to tell the world that Faraday was innocent and that Fleming is Chess. Phillips goes with the traditional claim that he isn't afraid of the hero killing him, because he'll be killed if he talks. Vince talks tough, but has to cut the scene short when Orwell reports that Ark reinforcements are on the way. Vince actually does drop Phillips, but there's a conveniently soft truck for Phillips to land on.

The Cape

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