The Cape

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B+ | Grade It Now!
The Es-Cape Artist
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Title Card: "FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE." A sinister scientist (you know he's sinister because he's got a shaved head and a goatee. And also a Russian accent. And he's a scientist because he's got glasses with extra lenses that can be swiveled down in front of his right eye. Look, he might as well have the words "Sinister Scientist" tattooed on his face, okay?) talks to an impassive man. Another Russian tells the impassive man that he's a prisoner, and not even Gregor the Great can escape a bullet through the head. Gregor the Great (for it is he) just smirks.

Now Gregor (the Great) is in a straitjacket and being led down a rat-infested hallway. Well, I don't know if two rats constitute an "infestation." Especially after that episode of Hoarders. Did you see that? Man, that was messed up. Gregor's locked in a cell, and smirks again. The next scene reveals that he's escaped! He allegedly dislocated every bone in his body so he could fit through a drain. And there's a little key that he appears to have whittled out of one of his own teeth. So! Gregor the Great is a brilliant escape artist, is he? I can only assume this episode will be full of dueling escapes. Oh, and he painted "KOZMO" on the wall, which gives us the official episode title.

The scene now shifts to your average train yard, which, as with all train yards, is populated by hobos and a guy with a trombone. Vince is wearing a trenchcoat and stocking cap as he looks for clues. He doesn't appear to find any.

So instead, we follow some guy driving over a bridge. His license plate is "FILIPS," and he identifies himself as "Phillips" when he calls Ark Industries for backup as a result of his car's door being ripped off the hinges. It's not clear what he sees, but there are a lot of thuds on the soundtrack. He gets out and sees... The Cape! Standing in the middle of the road. Naturally, Phillips pulls out a gun and starts shooting. But The Cape has a car door to hide behind, which is unusual for a guy with no car. And it's apparently one of those bulletproof doors, which suggests that Ark is outfitting its people well. Although they could probably spend a bit more on hinges. Soon, Vince is dangling Phillips over the bridge and tells him to tell the world that Faraday was innocent and that Fleming is Chess. Phillips goes with the traditional claim that he isn't afraid of the hero killing him, because he'll be killed if he talks. Vince talks tough, but has to cut the scene short when Orwell reports that Ark reinforcements are on the way. Vince actually does drop Phillips, but there's a conveniently soft truck for Phillips to land on.

Trip is introduced to a new class. The jerks who are his new schoolchums have hidden chess pieces in his new desk. Those kids are ahead of the game! They knew who their new classmate would be, and they had time to guess what desk he'd sit at and find some chess pieces to hide in there. Nice work, kids. This sort of thing shows a team spirit and forward-thinking attitude that will serve you well in later life.

Back to the amusement park! You may be interested to know that it's named "Trolley Park Amusements," which is historically appropriate. Trolley companies build amusement parks as an enticement to get people to ride all the way to the end of the line. Oh, and the motto appears to be "Now you're on the trolley," which is a reference to the Simpsons episode where Bart and Homer become carnies. Nicely done! Vince is working out by decapitating mannequins with the cape. He's shirtless, because, um, well, why not? Sometimes, you want to work out without a shirt on, okay? Max walks in (past a fire-eater) to ask if Vince sleeps in the cape. Vince claims he never sleeps. Max warns him that the cape can bring out his rage. Or something. Here, you try to make sense of it: "Either you wear the cape or the cape wears you."

Gregor enters the circus, which has a lot more people than I remember. He shoves Rollo aside. Max identifies him as Gregor Molotov. Gregor identifies Max as Max Malini, "or should I say Kozmo?" Max doesn't use that name anymore. Gregor announces that he's here for his cape. Bum bum BUMMMMM! It's time for a round of reaction shots from Rollo, that aerialist lady, Hypno Joe, and Vince, who is hiding in the rafters.

Title Card: "KOZMO THE UNKILLABLE." Gregor and Max are having a confab in Max's trailer. Gregor thinks it's unlikely that Max lost the cape. Yeah, it doesn't seem like you'd misplace something like that. It's all Gregor thought about during his twenty years in prison, which suggests that he has a fairly limited imagination. I mean, sure, it's a great cape, but eventually your mind's going to wander, right?

Gregor introduces himself as: "Gregor the Great. Master illusionist, contortionist, and escape artist extraordinaire." He has a pretty high opinion of himself, doesn't he? Vince strolls in, and Max introduces him as "Vince, the never-knocks-before-entering," who works for the carnival. They keep calling it a carnival, but I'm pretty sure it's a circus. Gregor leaves Max and Vince alone, and it's time for some Cape Backstory! The name "Kozmo" goes with the cape. The first Kozmo was a thief and criminal, who passed the cape onto someone else. Then, see, because the thief died but there was still a Kozmo, the name became "Kozmo the Unkillable." Max used to be Kozmo, and Gregor was going to be the next one. But does all this mean that Vince is going to be the new Kozmo? Nope! Max won't let him take on the name. He would also like Vince to lay low and keep the cape out of sight until Gregor leaves. Yeah, I'm sure that's what's going to happen. "Tonight! On The Cape! Vince lays low!"

Palm City Office of the Public Defender, where Dana now works. She complains that she's overworked because her case load is too big. It is her opinion that Ark is turning Palm City into a police state, which is resulting in a giant pile of cases for everything from public urination on up. Her boss, Travis, claims that the crime rate is way down, which you'd think would mean fewer cases to deal with, not more. Dana looks through the files, and notices that the guy who was arrested for public urination was at the train yard. Yes! That train yard!

Peter Fleming has agents out looking for his missing daughter. It's pretty obvious that it's going to be Orwell, right? Okay, I just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page. Marty enters to announce that they have a lead on Orwell. Well, almost a lead. Sort of. No, it turns out they had a lead to a place where Orwell had just been. Fleming complains about news articles about how evil he is. Curse that Orwell! Fleming plans to reroute some military satellites to get some kind of revenge. I assume he's got some larger plan at work, because it seems like a guy who's already got control of the military's satellites could take control of a place bigger than Palm City.

Vince returns to his lair, where Orwell is glaring at him. She's been glaring at the door for hours, I bet. Just waiting for him to get home. She's vexed that he nearly killed a cop, but he says everything's fine. She also complains that he was so sloppy that the Ark people almost got to her. She got away, didn't she? Yes, but she had to leave her groovy pad. Vince wants to know where Orwell got all this money for fancy 3-D holomonitors. She brushes that off and starts to bring up questions about Max. And what about Gregor Molotov? He left a trail of bodies from Berlin to Moscow, you know. And his weapon of choice is the cape. That's weird. Anyway, Orwell can't go back to her old place, so she's going to shack up with Vince. Woo-woo! Vince awkwardly brings up the circus so he can say "You were a kid once" and Orwell can look sad.

Then Vince climbs up into his weird hanging bed and reads the latest issue of The Cape

. Or possibly an old issue. There might be only one issue. We hear him reading the captions as we see Trip at home, doing the same thing. One of the captions, which is apparently important, goes, "One man. One

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The Cape




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