Scales is being pressured by Peter Fleming's private police force to kick in some protection money. This gives Vince a wacky idea: he'll tell Scales that Fleming is Chess, which means he's already paying him as the head of the underworld. This leads Chess to get aboard the Monte Carlo Express, which is a costume-themed casino train. Or possibly a casino-themed costume train. I don't know. The point is that Scales makes Fleming invite him along on the gala train event.
Meanwhile, Max and the Carnival of Crime are planning on robbing that very same train. This vexes Vince, because he thinks he can get Scales to announce o everyone that Fleming is Chess. He actually gets that to happen, but it turns out that Scales is just a low-class thug with a skin problem, so nobody believes him. So Scales steals a bunch of wallets, declares war on Fleming and disappears into the caboose, which is where all the loot is.
But! Max and the Carnival are back there already and take all the loot for themselves before locking Scales in a cage. This gives him sideshow flashbacks, which are just the worst kind of flashback you can have, really.
Meanwhile, in the front of the train, which has come disconnected from the caboose, Vince and Fleming have to work together to cut the brake lines because the train is out of control. I bet you didn't know that on trains, cutting the brake lines causes an immediate stop.
By the way, the official title of this episode is "Scales on a Train." This show just dares you to take it seriously, you know? [Actually, it looks like they changed it retroactively, so it's now just "Scales." I guess they're going for the non-nonsense Smallville approach to titles? - Zach]
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Hey, everybody! It's Vinnie Jones again! As you no doubt remember (suuuuuure you do), he's playing a criminal-type who runs the docks. He's named "Scales," because he's got a bunch of lizard scales on his face. An Ark Industries policeman is talking to him about Brazil nuts, which does not interest Scales. It seems that Scales had a meeting with Peter Fleming, but Fleming had a massage scheduled, so he sent this guy along. Brazil Nut Guy tells Scales that Ark will be "helping" with the security on the slips. He mouths off at Scales a bit, and Scales menaces him with "You just made a big mistake. You just made me remember you."
One of the thugs that was in the warehouse watching that last scene tells The Cape that Scales is a bad dude, who once put his driver in the hospital for making a right turn on red. He hands over a teeny recording of the conversation. It's on a microchip or something, I don't know.
Vince and Orwell bicker over a miniature camera that Orwell is building into a feathered mask. Vince is a little outraged that Fleming is going to be taking half of Scales's profits via his control of the police, since he already skims quite a bit off as Chess, lord of the underworld. Vince has a plan in which Scales will out Fleming on a train, which Orwell will be on. And he's all twitchy because it's Trip's tenth birthday. Orwell asks him, "Are we brooding or suiting up?" Vince's answer, of course, is "both."
Max, Rollo and Hypno Joe are plotting over a map. Vince enters and says he needs backup, which leads to Max referencing Gladys Knight and the Pips and Hypno Joe calling Rollo a pip. So naturally, Rollo punches him. Max tells Vince that he's on his own tonight, because the Carnival of Crime has stuff to do. Vince leaves, and Max says "Get out the hacksaw, Ruvi. Betty needs a shave." Betty is his shotgun. I think Ruvi is the guy I've been calling Hypno Joe.
Vince enters a dockside warehouse and capes some goons. He tells the last one standing to "call the Gecko." Product placement? No, I guess not. Scales, who is wearing a sharkskin suit and alligator-skin boots, drives in. Vince, standing safely out of reach on top of a shipping container, tells him that Peter Fleming is Chess. Although he does it via a complicated reference to pawns, which doesn't help. Scales doesn't buy it. Vince reminds Scales that the last time he saw Chess, Faraday was dead, so he obviously wasn't Chess. Apparently that hadn't occurred to Scales. Vince tells Scales that Fleming will be on the Monte Carlo train that night. Scales didn't know about the train, which gives Vince an excuse to deliver exposition about the gala that will be taking place on the train. It's charity gambling, apparently. Vince plays on Scales's insecurity about being lower class, then disappears with a smoke bomb. "Nimble little gnome, isn't he?" muses Scales. I guess I should mention that Vince calls Scales a "public school sort," which is the exact opposite of what he thinks he means, given that Scales appears to be British.