Some other lady walks in, and he gets really creepy, really quickly: "Are you here for me?" No. "Could you be?" WTF? "Where are you going?" The bathroom. "Where are we going?" (Nowhere.) It's not so much that he gets the hint, it's more that she successfully evades his predations. "She's shy," murmurs Up Chuck, in an objectively creepy and not all that funny way. "I'll show her shy." Whoa. Let's think about that during this commercial.

At "Zax" (which name? Is gay), the club where they're going to be keeping the elusive jungle cat known as Matt "Velvet" Dusk, the first thing you notice is that it resembles nothing quite so much as the Vegas equivalent of an Olive Garden (tm the very insightful WanderingSnark). Matt "Velvet" Dusk tells us the sad, sad story you knew was coming, about how he always wanted to be part of Vegas, and how nothing could be better than that, et cetera. He thanks the crowd. Joe the Vet apprises him of a wonderful opportunity to kiss some Lieutenant Gubernatorial ass by having Lorraine Hunt do a number onstage. I think the whole thing is disgusting, as does Matt "Velvet" Dusk, but I can see where Joe the Vet is coming from. Tim and Tom are in a sticky position, governmentally speaking, and besides, legislators and state leaders are celebrities, of a kind. "Do you know any Gershwin?" I laugh and laugh; Matt "Velvet" Dusk doesn't, and doesn't. Joe the Vet then manages to fuck even this up by introducing her as "the illustrious Elaine Hunt," negating the entire purpose, but she and her friend get to sing their song, so it's okay, I guess. Well, not really, because it's bloody awful, but you know what I mean. Matt "Velvet" Dusk scowls and does some more of those Cirque de Soleil twisty acrobatic things in his head, saying that "we" are not karaoke singers (which "we" kind of are), and that "Elaine" and her friend came off like amateurs (which they, um, are). He still thinks it matters to people whether it's him or someone else. I could just die. He then builds the unintentional comedy perfectly by saying that having the Lt. Governor sing her little song in front of everyone "cheapens Tim and Tom's dream to recapture Vegas." Oh, Matt "Velvet" Dusk, how I long to live in your world. Your brain Pilates come close to mental pornography.