And speaking of Very Important People, just then a limousine pulls up full of drunk fraternity guys yelling, "Woo!" It actually names them on the bottom of the screen as the "Frat Pack," which is kind of cool, and as they jump out like clowns from a clown car and huddle up, Tim and Tom watch them warily. Or at least, that's how it's supposed to appear, even though it's clearly been edited together from several unrelated shots that probably took place on different days and may well have taken place outside different casinos, for all I know. The Frat Pack are excited about getting manicure-pedicures and facials, as frat guys are wont to do, I guess, and then we meet Rob ("The Virgin," the screen says, which is lame). Rob's a virgin, apparently, and has a gross beard and what the man currently known as the Midnighter calls a "semi-concealed beer belly." Jason, the good-looking and well-meaning but ultimately scary ringleader of the Frat Pack, talks about what an "awesome" and "sweet" guy Rob is, and how he's never had a girlfriend before. Then he says the Frat Pack is going to "give him the biggest jumpstart on meeting women in the world," and how they're going to throw a hotel party, and I guess that's what Vegas means to Jason: mani-pedis, facials, and whores.
Weird mysterious music plays as Rob receives his treatment and has an ungodly boring conversation with the spa lady about his fingernails and the aforementioned lack of girlfriend experience. She asks if he's looking for someone special and he replies dimly, "Yeah, it's a possibility." So clearly he's as excited as the rest of the Frat Pack about his impending entree into masculinity and putatively adult sexuality. Jason: if you take a butterfly out of its cocoon before it's ready, it dies. But if you take it to Vegas, it gets Hep C first. Think about it.
There is an incredibly stupid-ass FOX bumper to commercial about "the most shocking scenes ever on reality TV," but before you get excited, nobody who's seen the rest of the episode can figure out what the fuck they mean by that. After the commercial we get some of the most shockingly boring scenes ever on any kind of TV, but I doubt that's what they're talking about. Andre Agassi comes in -- shockingly random! a little bit sad! -- and we learn that Andre passed up long ago on the opportunity to invest in Travelscape. Tom, unfortunately, says aloud in a situation where his voice is recorded on tape and later played back for us to hear: "We'll take Andre's cash, but what we really want is Andre's cache." This crazy lady attacks Andre Agassi and wants him to sign her crazy deposit slip, but he refuses to do it until she writes VOID on it, and the degree to which he is so not kidding is bizarre and unpleasant. Crazy Lady's named Bobbie, and Bobbie's like, "I'm gonna hug you! 'Cause I love you!"













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