David, wearing a...I don't know what the fuck it is. Fake velvet cut-out see-through bullshit shirt of ivy. Late forties, skinny but not like a young person is skinny, bleached hair (bleach-blond asshole count = 3), although even looking like a consumptive vampire who injects household products he still looks better than Geoff. Virginia, his wife, is wearing some kind of black-leather vest with long skinny beads on it like a breastplate and an honest-to-God choker, has the exact same shade of near-platinum hair, and is pretty -- thanks to science. Beverly, their girlfriend, looks like Ana Gasteyer, with flaming red hair, eyebrows dyed to match, absolutely no identity or self-esteem, and a weird smirky wide mouth. Virginia and Beverly totally look like porn...well, not stars. Let's just leave it at "they look like porn." And of course he's got one on each arm. And we're not even to the Mark Burnett fake part, I don't think. This is actually how they roll. We hear Matt "Velvet" Dusk start singing this song that kind of applies to the situation of them prowling the Nugget for other pervs, but doesn't really. Fake shot of them walking by this chick playing slots and checking her out as they walk by, their eyes sliding down her one by one (they're single file -- perhaps because they're in the "skinny route" area, although they're all very skinny, since they have every disease including ones you've never heard of, and because all they eat is lube). This is intercut with shots of old Matt "Velvet" Dusk, but instead of tainting him, it's like a tiny little respite, an oasis of lounge vibe and swing era standards. Also, this song he is singing? Not from the swing era. Which I guess makes it original.
Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: F | 409 USERS: C+
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