The Trash Heap plays blackjack and lose a lot of money. We watch as the numbers of lost money get higher and higher. It's boring. Tommy tells us the "shoe gets real streaky," which sounds superstitious but I guess I believe it. Especially now, since this is "reality" and all. We'll just say that they are down a number, and then another number, ad infinitum, and then Bryan and Kristin both get really nervous because Geoff is, after all, their Anna Nicole. Remoras. So he gets up and leaves the table when he's down like $60,000. Kristin screams, "He left! We can take his money. Isn't that great?" Then she leans over and totally takes a bunch of money. Just like that! I thought she was kidding! She interviews that sometimes she "tend[s] to take some of his money," you know, as one does, and "like, hide it in [my] purse" -- man, this shitty purse is like Story C -- "so it doesn't end up at the casino, as a deposit." That's right, just in your purse, as trick money. Way better. Unbelievable. I'd like to think that if I were friends with a lonely gross hella-rich guy I'd resist the urge to steal wads of cash from him when he's not looking. That's not friendship, people. She tells us she's not "stealing," just trying to take care of him. Back at Tommy's blackjack table, however, Geoff looks suspiciously at her purse, and asks, "What's that?" And she replies, "Nothing. I love you," with this sad, like, pursed-mouth face to go with his enpursed money. It's amazing. This chick is balls out. What if when they'd caught Lee Harvey Oswald he'd just pouted and said, "This? Nothing. I wuv you." Drunk and I think on something, and down a bajillion dollars, he kind of ignores her, like you should always do when people baby-talk like that (especially after stealing like three or four thousand dollars while you're in the can), and she gets even more incredible: "I'm not feeling the love all of a sudden." Kristin's tits take off for "the bathroom," but the eagle eyes of Mark Burnett's camera zero in on...the purse! And then she's lost to the skinny route.
Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: F | 409 USERS: C+
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