Gambler Betty Kristin's two-inch-long French-manicured nails grip a lowball glass in the limousine. Yeah, I said it. We're heading to the Nugget, and sadly, the Nugget wants them there. Last week there was Buffalo Bill-esque Up Chuck and an entire hockey team's worth of twisted adolescent sexuality, and yet this episode I think might do more damage to the Nugget reservations queue. These people, my God. Brother Trash Heap Bryan is laughing about how the Golden Nugget is the "denture of the week" club, and how not a single limo is headed toward Downtown, because everyone's going to the Strip. Two things here: One, he keeps calling his brother "Mills," which is weird, because his name also is Mills. Bryan Mills. Maybe he felt estranged from his big brother growing up and ended up calling him what Geoff's teammates did, and just lived in Geoff's shadow forever, like all the people in Varsity Blues. Oh, Brother Trash Heap, you are the wind beneath the trash heap.
Two: The reason all the limousines are going to the Strip is that limousines are for trash. People who are actually worth the air they are currently breathing are driving themselves there in cars, Bryan. Or taking taxis. That's the difference between regular people with money, and poor people with money. Never, ever go where the limousines are headed, Bryan. That's my advice to you, and I am very serious about it. Bryan mugs for the camera in a very fake, like Real World fake, obnoxious way, but something about the tenor of his voice makes me think he's an all-right guy. He's got that Ben Affleck charm-that-is-not. Not someone I'd be friends with, no, but someone I would trust to watch my car while I ran into a store for a Band-Aid. He's certainly cooler than his brother, which would not be exceedingly difficult for anyone, because his brother, Mogul Geoff, looks supremely satisfied, all the time. He looks sated, like a big ole bullfrog what just ate a whole buncha flies. He looks like a man who just ate everything in the whole world, and then got sleepy. He looks stoned. Bryan at least moves his features -- and his jaw -- when he talks. He accuses Geoff of trying to be the big fish in the small Golden Nugget pond, and then changes his mind: "This isn't even a pond, this is a water hole." A what now? A water hole? Uh-huh. I reckon that's smaller than a pond.