The Casino
Episode 2

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: F | Grade It Now!
Eyes Why Me: They're Destroying Love

Geoff kisses her pointy, stripy little head and says not to worry about it, they'll find her purse. Tom jerks awake and starts wondering where the purse might be: "You think it's in the pit?" Kristin's like, "I thought it was there, but with all certainty I can tell you it now is not." Tom offers to go to Security and help them look. I don't want to say that her eyes get imperceptibly wider as she thinks to herself, Thousands of cameras in the casino. And I'm on TV. Will they know I stole the purse from myself? Everyone in the monitor room is bored because Tom has been recording his line about helping Geoff Mills's girlfriend find her purse all goddamned day and they're tired. He finally "nails" it, staring somewhat down and to the right. Then Tom fakely notices Geoff on one of the monitors: he's back at one of the tables. "This guy's unbelievable."

Utter schmuck Joel sits down, and Kristin calls him by name, asking if he found her purse. Which makes me assume that he works at the casino, since she calls him by name, meaning that he's going to get fired for betting whilst on the clock, but neither are true. He draws his thumb across his throat in a murderous gesture, and then tells the Heap that this table is a "guaranteed loss." They don't think this behavior is at all inappropriate, even when he extends his hand over the table and waves it around mystically, murmuring, "Guaranteed loss, guaranteed loss." I'm not superstitious, but come on. Geoff, go to another table. "Babe, let's win that purse back," Geoff hopefully/drunkenly says. Tim "runs into" the pit boss, whose name I don't know, who informs him that the Trash Heap has hit their credit limit and are asking for another $50,000. Tim pretends to have a spine and says, "Give them 30, and that's it." Back at the table, Geoff is trying to bet over this Joel weirdo barking over and over, "Turn away. Turn away. Turn away. Turn away." I don't know why. He's making me superstitious. There's a billion-year montage of Geoff losing, losing, losing, saying, "I had $40,000 like ten minutes ago," losing, losing, and then saying, "I was down over a hundred grand and I couldn't walk away from it." Which I guess I get. It turns into a personal affront that you have to, like, avenge. I think I can understand that. Bryan babbles something about how Geoff either has or is down either $7000 or $70,000, which is a "Toyota Tercel, a Pontiac, a Buick" and I can't figure what he's talking about. Something about how either the amount of money he has left, or the amount of money he's down right now, is equivalent to real goods and services. Good point. They go back to the room, complaining of having "got took." Asshats. Buy me a Toyota Tercel and I'll be your friend. I'm not picky, clearly.

Tom is up on the roof walking Bally the Rottweiler and complaining about it to Tim on the phone. They really need an assistant; Tim just wants to make sure the guy's not taller than him. Then we go to a place where the curtains are slowly lifting before a giant window to the outside...slowly, slowly they rise and part...then with a camera-shoot sound (?) they are suddenly open, and light is streaming in. It's stupid and pointless and does nothing for me. Bryan, brown-haired guy, and a completely new guy are waking up and getting dressed. Completely new guy starts talking about how they need to get an eye-opener, how he needs a vodka tonic in the morning (nice), and wondering where Geoff is. Geoff is, of course, back down in the casino, saying, "Excellente, my friend" (fuck you, Geoff) to the dealer and then thanking him by name. God, how I loathe him. He's been playing since like 6:30 AM, pit boss says. ["At this point I began praying aloud for Albert Brooks to appear in his bathrobe." -- Sars] Tim wants to stay up to date on the situation. Back to Tim and Tom, where Tim introduces Tom to their new assistant, Zack, by comparing him to -- and I am in no way falsifying this -- "that black kid that follows the president around" on The West Wing. I hate you, Tim. That's all. I just hate you. There's a non-humorous portion where Zack is introduced to Bally (the Rottweiler) and he walks her on the roof, telling his mom about his fantastic new job. Tom calls Bally "the Queen," and for all I know he thinks it's true, she's actually a dignitary.

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The Casino




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