The Casino
Episode 2

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: F | Grade It Now!
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Eyes Why Me: They're Destroying Love

At the driving range before the game -- clearly their favorite part -- they whack balls pointlessly and as hard as they can. Maybe they think this part is gold. They laugh the whole time. They're dressed in normal goddamned clothes, at least. There's a mysterious part where Geoff drops a wad of cash into a hole where normally golf balls go. "If I put money into it, what happens?" I don't think they understand golf. Sunstrum is being adorable here, smoking a cigar and being all buddies with the group. At one point while Geoff lines up a shot, Sunstrum cracks, "Millsie, while we're young," and they all laugh. He's great. At the golfing range bar (of course -- that's the best part for them, besides the driving range), the Heap toasts the Nugget. Problem solved. Sorta.

Maya asks Chris what he thinks the Swingers think about when they're fucking. "Not each other," he says immediately. "They've done everything with like 5,000 different partners -- what's left? I really think that they [I assume this conversation is about David and Virginia, if not swingers in general] might really love each other, but they've just gotten so fucked up with this lifestyle..." And then he says my favorite line of the episode, or the series, or the year, or ever: "They're destroying...love." THEY'RE DESTROYING LOVE, people. Brilliant. Their acts deny -- one might say, annihilate -- love as a concept. Chris finishes this awesome soliloquy with a toast to "one very important thing: our marriage." Awww. They kiss. Awww. They're so cute, how even their neuroses are outfits in complementary shades of baby-blue, with matching sweaters. I love them. But not in a way where I would fuck them or anything. I would not destroy love with them.

Sunstrum escorts the Trash Heap out, and shakes their hands. They love John, and they should. He's great. Kristin effuses about him and the Nugget for awhile, and then under the impression that she gets to make any decisions whatsoever, promises that they are "coming back for sure." John embraces "Big Dog" Geoff. Walking out, Bryan wisecracks, and while the trip was "not a couple hundred thousand dollars worth of fun," they agree that it was, after all, fun. Sunstrum reports to big fake Tim and Tom that he thinks they'll be back. Tim's like, "They'd better, they owe me over a hundred grand!" and Tom's like, "This guy. It's always about the money, you know?" as if there's some other reason they all just lubed themselves up for that Heap of Trash. Like they're in love with the Heap of Trash or something, and not doing it for the money at all. It's a business. There's no such thing as customer service for its own sake. There's no such thing as a free lunch. Tom, you are so weird. You can tell it's the end of the episode because things have gotten all Ozzie & Harriet lame. Walking away from us down the hall, Tim's like, "Always about the money? What should it be about?" Tom: "Well, we want to get these guys back, that's all." "Yeah! With the money, though!" I like that little sitcom ending; it's certainly better than last week's, plus it implies that Tim might at some point notice the complete psychotic break Tom's gone through.

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The Casino

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