"It's great how everybody here so far has been helpful. I've had such an exciting, overwhelming day. It's definitely an interesting start to getting to Vegas." No, honey, you're in Vegas. You made it. You've been here all day, asking random people to give you jobs and hanging out with pimps and hos and ruining the physical laws of the universe. This whole sentence was brought to you by TV Funhouse's "Fun with RealAudio," being edited weirdly out of so many different conversations it's impossible to tell where each individual word came from, and still it makes no sense, and besides that, when they find your body out on the salt flats in a shallow Juarez unmarked grave and the people start talking, nobody's going to jump up and down and scream about how you weren't asking for it. Because you are. You are asking for it politely, and you are asking for it C.O.D. and P.D.Q. Total glamour! As she walks away after having this Frankenfood of an epiphany, there's a totally retarded fake edit such that time-traveling Jenn, still playing with her time-traveling cell phone, looks in slo-mo over her right shoulder at Ernie -- who watches her creepily, and fades into darkness. A still shitty but better-produced bumper to commercial explains the whole next act, but I won't ruin the surprise.
Commercial for Spider-Man 2. How long until they just start saying, "Jacob. Everybody likes this movie. Two people hated this movie, and they're just pretentious. We're going to keep advertising this movie. Just fucking go see this movie. We know how you laughed at Willem Defoe yelling at the Evil Goblin Chair, we know you hated the first one -- just trust us. Trust us, and everyone you know, and everyone else in the entire goddamned world, and go see Spider-Man 2. Sorry, the rest of America, but we had to interrupt your evening to do this. Call Jacob up at 512-555-4444 and tell him to go see this movie, so Avi Arad will let us go home to our families."
They try to make me hate Li'l Tommy Sunstrum a li'l bit when right away, driving up to the valet station, he's doing that "izzle" talk, like it's '03 (is he a time traveller too?), but I stand firm.