Jenn interviews -- wearing the stupid pink cowboy hat, a lacy flamingo-colored negligee top, and a pink ribbon choker with a pink plastic flower on it. God. All different clashing shades of pink. Sparkly pink eye shadow, sparkly pink lip gloss, sparkly pink herpes outbreak. She was a hairstylist in Portland, but "there are definitely a lot of people that are doing different things here in Vegas, and I'm going to become one of them." What? You're going to join the ranks of people doing "different things"? That's two shots of bizarre. What does that mean? Does it involve your very good teeth? She has good teeth. Does it involve generating multiple streams of income, like working days cleaning hospitals and nights writing science fiction novellas and weekends doing dinner theater? Because that's not all the people in Vegas, honey, that's all the people in L.A. It's on the left. No, turn the map the right side up. See?
Vegas by night. How she gleams seductively. We see that stupid "V.I.P. Jetset" hummer limo that the swingers live in. Out of it this time, like dirty clowns at a dirty circus, come piling three identical blonde prostitutes (actual) in different outfits that are red and black and tight, and their pimp (actual). His name is Ernie, and he looks like this: black leather Serpico suit jacket; devil goatee and moustache; shaved head; creepy Lester the Molester, serial killer, hired killer, Licensed Shaklee Vitamin Distributor kind of vibe. The camera slows down so we can see the whores come out of it one by one, but they all look the same. As the doors of the Golden Nugget are -- of course -- thrown wide open for them and their bevy of FOX cameramen, we note that some of the whores still have their plastic champagne flutes from the Hummer limo. Cool. There seem to be many more than three of them because they all move around sinuously like a Robert Palmer video, or the brides of Dracula. It's not sexy, it's creepy, but not in the usual way that sex turns into creepy non-sex on this show. It's creepy like Rosemary's Baby. "Let's go in here and buy Daddy a new car," he says to them. The parts of their brains he hasn't burned out with designer drugs and cigarettes force them to comply. "Hey, I'm in love," he voices over ecstatically, as if he is really in love. "Look at that, I got three loves: I got all the blondes." Well, Ernie, you should have brought enough for the whole casino. "Blonde is good right now." We focus tightly on one Bride's ass, which carries a Dolce & Gabbana label, but I'm not sure what we're supposed to be noticing here. He's explaining all about blondes and his having of them to the young suits in a hallway -- they're like ushers or bellboys or something. Ernie interviews, wearing white. I want to get across to you how this guy, like, is, but still, Steven Seagal villain is the best I can do. The screen calls him a "personal party planner," which is awesome in that Reaganomics Gordon Gekko 1984 way of being totally true and a complete lie at the same time. "Every time people see me with these beautiful girls, they always assume that I am, quote, a pimp. And that word totally bothers me." Oh, my God, me too. When people say "quote" or do the finger quotes or...oh. You meant pimp, didn't you. "That word pimp totally bothers me." Even though it's on the neon sign I wear strapped to my back. Even though it's stamped across my forehead. Even though I'm wearing a pin on the lapel of this gross black leather suit jacket that says "Want Pussy? Ask Me How!"