Lesbian dealer lady, several shots of bitter and impotent and several more of incredibly awesome, watches this tableau play itself out in disgust, as Bride 1 keeps Jenn occupied during the chair switch. Ernie, suddenly sitting next to Jenn as if by magic, asks about her plans, and she replies, "I'm just going to get whatever kind of job." He mulls this long enough that she gets ADD and starts looking around the club. Probably as her future boss this should infuriate Ernie into a bloody, crack-fueled rage. Don't you hate it when people don't look you directly in the eye the entire time you're speaking to them? Anything else is just...creepy, don't you think? Diverting from that line of sight to take in a busy room? Fuck that. I need people to stare right at my face the entire time I'm talking to them. Maybe that's just me. Or -- oh hey, maybe I'm an asshole. Anyway. Ernie finally remembers his line and pimps up, "Because that's what we do, in a sense -- we always try to take care of people." In the sense of not really connecting your words to the previous part of the conversation? In the sense of not respecting the dependent clause that the word "because" implies? Jenn asks half of the pertinent question in response to his abrupt and bizarre lead-in: "So what do you guys do?" And she had to ask, because with an opening that huge and needy-sounding, it would be rude not to do so. "Independent host. We have clients and stuff. We take care of them, look after them, make sure that they're happy. We always need people. It can be very lucrative." Cut to lesbian card dealer probably sixteen times in the time it takes for Ernie to spit this little speech -- which surely he's made a million times -- out. It's weird watching him do this so poorly -- like, did you just start being a pimp earlier today, Ernie? Actually, with this show, yes. That's a fair possibility. "Mr. Burnett, I've just met the loveliest man at the Hyundai dealership. His name is Ronald but I think if we give him some fake scars and shave his head and cover him in blonde whores, and change his name to 'Ernie,' he'll make an awesome pimp for that totally jacked-up fake Jenn Nelson story. Oh, by the way: have the scientists finished the Jenn Nelson mannequin-stripper-bot yet? Tick-tock, Mr. Burnett."
Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: C+ | 429 USERS: C+
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