The Casino
Episode 3

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | Grade It Now!
All Bad Things

When the song goes higher, she jumps into this weird Betty Boop/She's So Unusual register with this trembling vibrato that I can see possibly working, for someone that can actually sing. Matt "Velvet" Dusk asks them to transpose down a little bit, because it's obviously painful for him to have her doing that thing so close to him. "I don't think this key is going to work." He's being so damn nice. Maybe this is what comes after the "Fuck It" phase: taking any excuse whatsoever to keep from working, like walking this little girl through an incredibly easy song, just to get back at the Tim and Tom Connection and Joe the Vet. Who right now is probably still drunk upstairs, so he doesn't know or care about this letter-of-the-law insurrection, but whatever. "You're a soprano, right? Or an...alto?" He's running out of options. "An ostrich? An archipelago?" She's like, "I don't know what I am." I bet they teach you that kind of stuff when you "go to have classes." But the best, the best part, is when he tries to harmonize with her -- on the line "the way you sing off-key," no less -- and it literally grabs hold of her voice and stretches it up, up toward his, into these in-between limbo regions nobody's ever really sung in before. My spectacles shatter, like in a Marx brothers movie. Matt "Velvet" Dusk starts apologizing to her, basically, saying that it's hard when you're thrown into a situation like that. The other band members start smoking heroin right there. Wolfie starts yelling in what is definitely a British accent, but I have no reason to know which one. Liverpool? Manchester? It sounds kind of dumb. Anyway, he's yelling about how she needs to know the whole song when she comes back to Zax. In interview, Matt "Velvet" Dusk demonstrates that the Ego part and the Fuck It part are wrestling, because he's slowly realizing that it's possible she will ruin his entire career and life simply by occupying the same stage as him.

Self-preservation wins, and he goes down to talk to Joe, wearing that awesome sweater. I don't know why I love it so much. It's very nice. It looks nice on him. I wonder who picked it out. Was it a gift? Did he buy it himself? I cannot say. Matt "Velvet" Dusk and Joe are quite civil with one another, and after being offered a seat by Joe, he spits out, "Dude, I can't do this." He explains about the rehearsal and the terrors that resulted. "She tried her best," which I guess is true, to the best of her ability, and given the fact that she's never really tried her best at anything, "and I think it's really a bad idea for her to sing." Joe, whose course is clear here, responds, "With all due respect? It's a restaurant, dude." Ouch. That's a third-degree burn. Dude. "It's not the Showroom --" which of course sets off little bells in Matt "Velvet" Dusk's head, which he adorably acts out for us, with his hands swirling around his cranium: "Speaking of the Showroom? You know, I would like to see us actually move up there." Joe reaches out and gives him a metaphorical bitch-slap. "Work with us and we'll address this." Man, Joe is good at being bad. And also? He's totally right. I hate to say it, you know I do, but Jesus. Just do your job, Matt "Velvet" Dusk. At least you have one. Be glad that Joe is screwing you now, while you're still at Zax, where the only person that even sees your show on a nightly basis is...Tom, for some reason. Imagine how bad it will be when he's pulling this crap on you in the Showroom. Joe is like two shots of prick right now, but he's four shots of correct, and that's more.

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The Casino




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