The Casino
Episode 3

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
All Bad Things

They look weird together onstage. Mostly because she looks like a backup dancer for a Christina Aguilera show. She doesn't sing greatly, you know, but it is nice to see her forget every other word and jump in after reading it off of Matt "Velvet" Dusk's admittedly expressive and captivating lips. Between this and her relationship to the melody itself, which let's characterize as "estranged," it's very much like one of those mid-'90s Natalie Merchant songs where the backup singer is Natalie Merchant Sounding Slightly Retarded. Have I been blimbed? Cut to Matt "Velvet" Dusk imitating Jenn in interview, warbling all over the staff. That sounds dirty. It is dirty, when she does it. As she continues singing, "Oh no, you can't take that away from me," you can actually see a little thought bubble forming above Wolfie's head that says, "Can somebody at least try to take it away from her?" Various audience members look -- not pissed exactly, more like concerned. Disturbed. Shaken, maybe.

The song finally ends, and more audience members look like Joe Rogan just forced them to eat South American beetles. Matt "Velvet" Dusk has to ask for applause and points out, shrewdly, that Jenn's "straight from Oregon," implying that she's only onstage tonight as a favor. Really the best possible solution to this, I think. I love you, Matt "Velvet" Dusk. And all your ways. Cut to Joe gloating over just how embarrassing that must have been for everyone. "As predicted, Jenn wasn't very good," laments Matt "Velvet" Dusk in an interview. He smiles ruefully, thinking he made the best of it, which he did. "I just really hope that people weren't laughing at Jenn." Oh, that's so sweet. I mean, I know he was using her as a pawn in his twisted mind game with reality, versus foes unknown, but I like that this is his last word on it: I hope she didn't hear anyone making fun of her. As Jenn makes her way post-haste out of Zax, you can tell it doesn't matter: she's mentally right now making fun of herself. Which, again, so cool that she knows how much she sucks. Too bad she takes that too far and goes from "reality check" straight through to "the kind of self-esteem issues that would make Janeane Garofalo slap you silly." "But Joe seemed to be happy so you know, I got my chip," he grins. I don't know what that means but I'm glad he got one. "We'll see what happens. Maybe I can get that Showroom now." His eyebrows do a little calisthenics routine at this point. It's weird.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Next

The Casino

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP