The Casino
Episode 3

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | Grade It Now!
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All Bad Things

Everybody who's anybody, in V.I.P. terms, is at the blackjack table where Tim's dealing cards, and they are all screaming their very asses off. Lots of that gambling nonsense screamy drunk talk going on here. R.I.C.O. interviews that he would rather be a big fish in a small pond [DRINK!] and that, being treated as they are at the Nugget, they have the same amount of fun winning or losing, like I said before, and that it's all phenomenal, and that it's like [DRINK!] "old-school Vegas." Jenn makes her way downstairs, having turned her Ho Dial past "Heidi Fleiss" all the way up to "Trishelle," and interviews to reveal that Ernie has been leaving her lots of messages about doing "the independent host thing." Ernie "makes it sound so easy," which I believe is an actual quote from Pretty Woman from one of the scenes where Julia Roberts and Richard Gere are lying in bed talking about, you know, life, and their childhoods, as one does with one's hookers. "It's definitely worth exploring, but I'm still kind of skeptical." The cognitive dissonance contained in that last line is so powerful it actually causes her hair to go three shades lighter.

Jenn joins Ernie and one of the Brides and an unwholesome man at one of those round corner booths that goes all the way around so you can't escape with your purse for anything. Ernie stammers about meeting a client later and Jenn, for no reason, asks, "What kind of client?" Because it turns out Ernie is a licensed Reiki therapist and apartment locator as well as a pimp? What the fuck kind of client do you think? Ernie stammers that it's the kind of client that's "a guy," so there you go, but also he's "the top sixtiest richest men in the world [sic, as ever]," to which Jenn correctly responds, "What?" because that's what you should do when people don't speak sensically, because it's really just selfish on their part, I think. Notice how I'm leaving out the "uh" and "um" and "uhh..." between every other word Ernie speaks? Same reason. I'm trying to show my love for you. "They like to hang out, just with, people, you know, and whatever." What's awesome about this is that Jenn, having similar ambiguous feelings about her mother tongue, totally understands every word that comes torturing out of his mouth. It's like watching twins talk twin language. "They like to hang out with different people?" What? That's Jenn's question? What on earth are the options? "No, just one person. D.B. Sweeney. It's weird." That's the second time she's used the word "different" to mean "numerous," I think. That's the only way it makes sense to me, at least. But Ernie sees eye-to-eye with her and her weird talking mojo (heh, he should hook up with Monique, she loves that eye-to-eye shit): "Yeah, different people, different girls, different guys, different whatever." I find this fascinating. What on earth could he mean by that? Cut to Bride, who either seems frustrated with the total lack of meaningful communication happening here, or is secretly rolling her eyes because she herself is simultaneously "different people, different girls, different guys, different whatever," and it is tiring her out.

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The Casino

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