This awful girl comes into the Pit, heading for Tommy. She's not pretty. Lots of denim happening, urchin hair, trailer buck teeth, some plastic stripperish giant flower around her neck that came from a box of cereal. Tommy's happy to see her. Honestly, he could do better. "You came down, man!" He's so gleeful about it all. "I know!" she responds. Because she's totally there! Monique's bitch powers ascertain that Tommy is smiling somewhere, and she has to run over to investigate. Tommy asks the girl how she's doing and she says, "Good. How are you." It's kind of formal. He thanks her for coming to visit him on the job and she, obviously joking, says, "Ohhh, I'd do anything for you, Tommy." Tommy interviews that he "really likes" Alexis. Oh, Tommy. Alexis? I want to meet her mother and have words. Words like, "Don't name your kids after soap characters, it's weird." Marry up, Tommy. "We went to high school together. She's not officially my girlfriend. I mean, I tagged her a few times, you know what I mean? But if that's considered dating, then I guess I am dating her." No you're not, but whatever. And also, don't say shit like that to me without warning me, Tommy. I could accidentally slap you for it. I think, though, that the producers basically sat him in the room and asked him questions until they got him to admit he was in some way dating her. Which I don't like, because I want him blameless. But there's no way that's going to happen: "If that were my money, I wouldn't hit," he tells her. Oh, Tommy. Like, that's the entire reason you don't get to deal for your girlfriend. Doesn't matter if she is or not, that's the one thing you can't do. You dick. Alexis wins some money. Yeep. Will, bored, calls: "In the future? We will all go to Disneyland. It's as inevitable as Transitions lenses."

Cut to Monique, whose hair has gone insane. It's après-sex. It looks like she slept on it every possible direction, at once. While sweating. "Tommy's an inexperienced dealer," she says in her first interview. And she looks professional, her sports-knit grey and white striped t-shirt and weird four-inch angel brooch aside. I would believe her if she were saying this to me. Her grey eye shadow matches her suit jacket, but nothing else. She's a bunch of weird colors. She's terrible. "He dealt to his girlfriend," she says, and she looks up, and the crazy obsession look is back, and she's the exact same person I thought she was before just now. "Which is against Golden Nugget policy, and...AND NOW? They want to make him a host." Yes. She's right. But no, she's not, because they aren't going to make him a host -- not for a long time, unless they are stupid or Tommy finds Tom one day when he's stoned -- but if you were thinking clearly, you'd know that. You're thinking not with your brain but with your hard-on of hate. Tommy continues to tell Alexis exactly what to do in every situation as he deals to her. It's so weird. She just keeps winning! God. Will calls yet again, and leaves a voicemail: "I love the floor supervisor's hair. I just tagged her."