This weird and not very good East Indian-sounding dance song plays as the Kombat Cam zooms all over the place, refusing to make up its mind. It goes all Keanu with the sudden slo-mo and rotating. We see, I think, the Stratosphere, which is Space Needle-shaped, like a rotating restaurant, and has roller coasters all over its roof, including the scariest nightmare thing I have ever seen: a green roller coaster that tilts off the edge of the building (easily three miles up into the atmosphere) sickeningly, then pivots down to give the illusion that we're all going to die, then a catch releases so the cars slide forward even more towards death, death, death. It doesn't even look like it's fun, just an affront to the eyes and sanity. I will dream of it tonight. More Matrix-vision with the Kombat Cam and the stupid fake dance music. Could these little connecting sequences possibly settle on something? Every week it's different, and the commercial bumpers are different. Even if you think you don't notice stuff like that, you do, and on a show so extrinsically off-putting, all this can do is add to your discomfort, like the subliminal stuff in The Exorcist back in the day. The valet guys are introduced to the car, whose full name is "Porschina De La Quince," and I love you, Eulisha. The obligatory thing happens where Eulisha explains to the valet in no uncertain terms that Porschina is her baby and they must take good care of her. She leaves out the part where you give the kid twenty bucks, though, so I don't know what she was thinking there.
Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: C | 508 USERS: C+
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