The Casino
Episode 4

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C- | Grade It Now!
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In a Theme Park Future, Parents Love Their Children

Monique flags down a pit boss so she can tattle on Tommy. On second viewing, though, she's pretty much in the right. I still think she loses the moral war, though, because her obsession is so ugly. She enjoys this for the opportunity to screw Tommy over, not because she's the greatest employee ever. Tommy flirts poorly with Alexis, who flirts poorly back. It's sad and very "Lowered Expectations." Someone at the table asks if they're dating, and he says they went out once or twice. And I see what he's saying: She's not his girlfriend. But get this, Tommy: there's the letter of the law, and the spirit of the law, you know? And right now you are fucking with both. Shut up and get that girl out of here. Do you want Monique to win? Er, I mean, do you want to "get in trouble"? Alexis takes off with her winnings, and Monique picks up the damn phone. Pit Boss asks if Alexis is or was his girlfriend, and Tommy totally starts stuttering and eating shit. Like, you would think he was stealing money from the casino with that kind of behavior. Monique gives the sickest grin I've ever seen as her eyes roll up in her head and her toes curl up and she gets all "Venus Butterfly" and it's sickening. "We went out once or twice, and she cuts my hair [what?]...We went to high school but she's not my girlfriend." Everybody's reactions to Tommy make me think -- after all this -- that he is kind of a douchebag. Like, more than I thought. But still, I've gotta say Monique is so much worse. The Pit Boss informs Tommy that Monique "already called 'D,' so go see 'D' on your break." I called that guy Dee before, but I think his name is really just D. Wow. He's the really, really Mob-looking Boss of Bosses. And you what, the best way to prove your casino and family are not mafia-related is to have bosses and managers with names like Hamilton and Regis, I think. Those are your best "bets." Next: Justine the psychic is led utterly astray by her sartorial spirit guides.

Aww, the Tim and Tom Bukkake are hanging out together again, because they have no other friends. They're going to have a little dinner, I think. "Tim, I got you the pasta with the..." Tim starts asking about the fucking money some more. I actually throw some stuff at him. It's so irritating. Tom starts this fake bullshit conversation about how Tim is high-strung lately and everyone's worried about him. Tim kind of means it, even though this scene is totally 100% fake, when he tells him to shut up. Tom starts talking about how there's this psychic "on the property," and then two conversations start happening: the one Tim thinks is happening, where they make fun of rubes and psychics and mumbo-jumbo, i.e. the conversation normal people would have, and the one that Tom thinks is happening, where they ask the psychic about things because she has magic powers, i.e. the conversation Tom would have. Just in case we needed some exposition, Tom offers: "I think she's just a guest, and then people found out she's psychic." "In other words, she's a wacko." Yes. But Tom, of course, is too. Also in other words, though, "This production team is too bad at their jobs to have signaled that information to us in any other way, through dialogue or tape, and had to copy it onto Tom's internal hard drive for playback during this bullshit." Tom totally wants to meet with her, and sends some random servant guy or something to fetch her. Tim makes the obvious joke tools always have to make, about how if she were really psychic, she'd be on her way already. Tom laughs his crazy, scary ass off about this joke. And you could tell it to him ten times in ten minutes, and he'd laugh every time, just like this, because he's insane.

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The Casino

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