The Children's Crusade

Episode Report Card
Sara Brady: B+ | 2 USERS: D+
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: The lights went out in New York. It was scary. Actually, on the show, Miles's old buddy Jeremy showed up and blew his cover as the former co-leader of the militia. Our gang located Danny, but couldn't rescue him from Neville's train, so they headed for Philadelphia where he's being held with Rachel, who told Monroe about the pendants. Grace Beaumont also had a pendant, but we haven't seen her since some unseen force broke into her house.

Remember those brands all of Monroe's guys have? Well, now some of his guys are trying to give Charlie her own M brand. She does not appear particularly happy about it. So of course we flash back to two days earlier, because the time on this show isn't warped enough already.

A militia wagon train is coming through the forest, and Miles, Nora, Charlie and Aaron watch it jealously. There's a prisoner on a wagon who looks like Jamie Bell and Michael Phelps's extremely unlikely love child. He turns his head ands spots Charlie among the foliage. She reaches down to unstrap her knife, but Miles stops her.

The fab four walk and talk, and Miles tells Charlie it would have been too risky to save that kid, that they can't save everyone and saving Danny is the mission. Ahead of them, there's a body lying in the road. It's a child. Charlie runs up and crouches next to the boy and says he's still breathing and of course the kid sits up and runs off, because it's a trap and Charlie's a dimwit. A bunch of wild-eyed Lord of the Flies types come out of the bushes with spears and ask our heroes where they took "him." Charlie wants to know who "him" is and Miles looks only a little perturbed that an eight-year-old is pointing a pitchfork at him.

The ragamuffin gang is looking for someone named Peter. Their leader tells the other kids to check the newcomers' arms for brands, which of course they don't have (yet). Charlie gives a description of the Phelps-Bell kid from the wagon train and tells the leader, named Michael, that they saw Peter being carried away. Miles just wants to know where everyone's parents are, because surely in a post-apocalyptic wasteland parents still have the good booze. Michael says they don't have parents and then whistles, which draws his whole squadron of armed-and-grubby anklebiters out of hiding. Aaron looks distinctly worried about the integrity of his Achilles tendons.

The grown-ups survey the child army's accommodations. They live in the bones of a wrecked building and it's not pretty. Aaron asks Nora what the kids did with their parents and says kids skeeve him out. Nora recalls that Aaron was the village teacher back in Ben Matheson Country, and Aaron points out that there isn't a lot of call for software engineers in a world without electricity. Also, I know a fair few teachers who are skeeved out by kids. Seventh graders are truly awful representatives of humanity.

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