Elsewhere, Erin bids her Maple Leaf lovah adieu. She reaffirms that she wants him to move to New York for himself, not for her, because it would (at least in her mind) put pressure on the relationship. He gives her a pissy reception and doesn't even hug her goodbye as he slings his stuff and himself into the taxi. Erin puts on a seriously pouty face as she watches him go back to the Great White North.

Adele croons beautifully over the interim shots as Whitney strolls into Los Dados in the Meatpacking District. Seriously, did that neighborhood, like, pay MTV to feature all their restaurants and bars? It's getting ridiculous. New York has enough neighborhoods for more than eight million people to fill -- 1.6 million if you only count Manhattan. Surely, the show can feature more than just MePa, Gramercy and the UES?

But I digress... Jay asks how things are going, and Whitney eases into the absolutely outrageous tale of her lunch with Chris. God, this is lame. Anyhow, Jay takes the bait and asks if she is trying to make him jealous. This is vintage Audrina/JB shiz. They have a whole B.S. altercation about it, flailing wildly to make the show and its contrivances have any relevance, relatability or resonance. All the while, Jay is stuffing his face and slugging beer. Ha. He puts down the patatas bravas for a minute to grudgingly concede that Whitney can do whatever she wants, echoing that it's her life. He nods his head vigorously all, "So there!" She looks down uncomfortably. Yet another awkward date for America's Sweethearts!

And just as I was about to thank Jeebus Almighty that there isn't another "Coming Up," there is. It's official. I will not be recapping them. Instead, I will insert a joke from Popbitch's "Old Jokes Home":