The City

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Artful Dodger

Previously: Nevan got cut off and had to bunk down with Olivia. Welcome to the UES, bitch! Jay and his skankbag roommate went out for a boys' night and the lesser man of them obviously ended up cheating on his girlfriend... with Whitney's friend-of-a-friend, no less! Then he proceeded to give the least convincing denials since Pinocchio. His girlfriend is dumb to believe the lying sleazebag, and therefore she deserves whatever heartbreak follows. And how will it arise, you ask? Because Adam and Jay have decided to invite everyone they know -- and yes, by "everyone" I do also mean the girls he cheats with! -- to an art exhibit they're hosting. Let's get ready to rumble, then.

Whitney's apartment. A-holette, still whiney, has come over to Whitney's to gripe about problems of her own making, e.g. she stays with someone who has obviously, unrepentantly cheated on her. Whitney breaks it down that their men are shady bastards, so it's best to stay on their toes. A-holette wants to have her cake and eat it, too, so she insists she believes him but continues to complain about how hard this is on her. Pick one! She switches gears, proposing it might be smart to confront the girl with whom he cheated. Whitney advises against it. I smell a bitch fight! Credits.

Whitney is "working" at DVF. Olivia enters in a ridiculous fur vest -- real I'm sure -- which they chat about inanely, in baby-ish voices for about 30 seconds. It's about 30 seconds too long. Whitney invites Olivia to the art exhibit. It's basically a ruse to get Olivia enmeshed in the drama with A-hole and A-holette. Whitney starts spinning the saga for Olivia, like it's the most important series of events that have ever taken place on Earth. I'm talkin' up there with Creation and the days before World War I combined. This is standard Hills format. Shockingly, Olivia is not like her L.A. counterpart and flat-out (and quite rudely, I might add) refuses to chat about the drama, claiming they're not in high school anymore. Total hypocrisy, btw. Whitney is pretty thrown. It's actually kind of sad because the way her life has operated for the last several years has now been torn to shreds and is lying around like so many swatches of fabric. If she can't gossip about the minutiae of self-inflicted drama at work, what will she do? Olivia turns it around, re-accepting Whitney's invitation. Now that she has just rendered herself useless for the show's purpose, Whitney has only to awkwardly feign enthusiasm and wish that she'd never included that bitch in the first place.

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The City

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