We've all heard of Whitney Port, the L.A. girl who got her start expediting plots on The Hills. She was "living the California dream" (a.k.a. as much Tropicana and Hot Dog on a Stick as you want!) before MTV decided to install her as living art in Diane von Furstenberg's office in an effort to have another hit reality show (because, let's face it, Bromance ain't gonna happen).
So Whitney decided to "risk it all" to move to New York to work in fashion. No bail-outs here! Just Downtown Girls like her friend Erin, who loves boys, and Downtown Guys like model Adam, who makes his girlfriend cry because he's just so damn freewheelin' (or maybe she's just a codependent, whiny brat). As well, there are Uptown folk like Olivia, whom I can already tell is a hagtastic bitch, and calls socialites "socials." Seriously, I cannot stress enough that I just met this Olivia character, and I already want her to get out of my face. Finally, there are heartbreakers like Jay, who know not neighborhood boundaries and whom Whitney has decided to follow around like a puppy now that she has sold her soul to MTV. In summary, Whitney is betting it all on a new life and a new love, and she has to figure out who she can trust... in The City.
I would save you details of the opening credits, except to mention that they are exactly as generic as The Hills credits but with less interesting people and a theme song that is about one one-thousandth as catchy as "Unwritten." It features lyrics about being "on top of the world," and, I swear, if the clincher scene of the finale takes place on the Empire State Building, I will travel to the top of that building and hurl myself off of it.
Whitney walks down the street in her new hometown, Manhattan, wearing the yellow-est dress you have ever seen. This merits stares and Old Boys Club-style back-slapping of random men on the street. She reports to her new job at Diane von Furstenberg, where a girl greets her and tells her she can forget about sleep in the immediate future because it's Fashion Week. Whitney makes the rounds before her first meeting. She meets all her coworkers, except fancy pants Olivia, who is still strutting her way into the office. I wonder if my deep, immediate hatred of this girl is judgment or instinct. I suspect the latter, but feel free to disagree.
Olivia sashays her floppy honey-blonde Farrah locks and her $600 stilettos into the office and greets Whitney. Whitney gives Olivia the low-down on her background and experience, including L.A., Kelly Cutrone, and Jay. Olivia seems unimpressed as she gives Whitney the skinny about how amazing her own life is, slipping in the she is planning a super-faboo rooftop dinner party. Of course, she doesn't invite Whitney. Awkward pause. Everyone convenes for the staff meeting with Alixe Boyer, VP and Global Image Director of DvF. Alixe introduces Whitney and says about what an important week it is for DvF. Glad so much of Whitney's first at DvF was devoted to her doing actual work.