The Contender

Episode Report Card
Stee: B | Grade It Now!
Allah Is Great; Ahmed, Not So Much

Ishe's house. He takes a bath with his son. His son is very cute. Takes after his mother, definitely. Ishe asks his son if he wants to be a boxer, and he says that he does. Ishe voice-overs that he wants to win the fight for his family. Yes, episode three. We got it. FamilyfamilyfamilyGatorade!family. Son tries to eat a loofah. Ishe then tells us that his wife is his best friend and that though he's struggled, she's never complained once or made him feel worthless. To him, that means everything. To us, it means very little, Ishe. But good for you. Shut up and take your bath and watch your commercials.

Fuckballs. Two different talking babies commercials in one break? Television is too scary for me to watch any more.

Gym. Day. Three hours to fight. Bald Cornerman psyches Ishe up. Ishe camera-talks that Ahmed has been a "cancer" in his side since he got here and he's ready to eliminate it. Cancer? You should ask for some medicinal marijuana for that.

Ahmed gets another massage. He babbles to the poor massage lady who doesn't even speak English about how Ishe has never been knocked out before and Ishe isn't going to stop his career and he's going to change the "story" tonight. This makes even less sense to me than it does to his masseuse. Ahmed thinks Ishe is scared and that he's "not a man." Dude, you're the one in the purple silk shirt getting massages every day.

West locker room. Ishe reads some Beverly Cleary book. Either that or the Bible. Not sure. Latoya arrives with their son, wearing a see-through black hooker shirt. Latoya, not the son. Ishe camera-talks that he just wants to have integrity and he lost that for a few days but got it back. He tells his wife that Ahmed has been telling everyone that he's going to jump on Ishe right away in the first ten seconds. "We'll see," says Ishe.

Ahmed shadow-boxes. Brandy comes in. Ahmed asks her if she's looking good, like him. What? "Better," says Brandy, truthfully. She asks him if he's going to win. Ahmed humbly replies, "I don't know. I hope so. But I won't know until later." Yeah, right.

West locker room. The family is now in a prayer circle with Latoya's shirt making Jesus cry. She prays for Ishe to have keen eyes and powerful fists. The family holds hands. Ishe talks. Sacrifice. Family. Struggle. Son asks where his dad is going. Ishe says he's going to go fight. "Be careful," says his son. Aw. One more kid off to be scarred for life. "It's time," Latoya says, ominously, before closing the door.

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The Contender




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