The Counteragent

Episode Report Card
admin: B | Grade It Now!
Who? What? Where? Whyeeeeee?

Back in Hell-Lay, Syd's all, so what's on the paper, dude? Sark's all, well, that's for me to know and you to find out. Oh, and while we're at it, neener-neener-neener. Syd gives him a global thermonuclear wedgie and then yells, "Mom! Sarkie's being a stinker!"

Mama Hari's Den Of Demise. Vaughn arrives in a wheelchair and achingly heaves himself out of it so he can walk the last few feet. He slowly approaches the glass, and then he and Mama Hari contemplate each other for a moment before he says, "You asked me some questions. I told you I'd answer them if you helped me. You did help me and I thank you for that." Mama Hari's all, yeah? Well, thanks for your thanks, but I didn't do it for you, buster. Vaughn's all, I'm trying to live a normal life, ya know? Then he blabbles on about how living a normal life has gotten much harder since knowing Syd. Basically, all he's saying is that loving Syd is a real pain in the ass, and he's just not really equipped to handle conflict or secrecy or, you know, GENERAL RELATIONSHIP ISSUES.

He starts to weasel out of the cell area, but Spy Mommy's onto him. She says, "The problem, Mr. Vaughn, is that to the one person who matters, you haven't said anything." Captain Non-Courageous is all, hey! It's not my choice! We have rules about handlers and agents not doing the nasty! "Very clear and important rules that govern the relationship between a handler and his asset." Mama Hari smirks. "And between a man and a woman?" Vaughn and his sparkly green eyes don't really have an answer for that one, now do they?

After his meeting with the to-the-point Mama Hari, Vaughn escapes to the main ops center. Syd's waiting for him. There's such a look of love and relief on both their faces that it's all I can do to keep myself from screaming, "KISS HER! KISS HIM! SOMEBODY KISS SOMEBODY!" Syd approaches Vaughn and just says, "Hi." Sheryl Crow's singing about how she shall believe as Vaughn just returns the greeting and they hug. Syd starts to cry, and their hug is so tight that I'm surprised Syd doesn't actually physically MELT into Vaughn's body.

Vaughn quietly thanks her, and Syd sort of realizes the inappropriateness of their hug and steps back. As they look at each other kind of uncomfortably, we hear the lyric, "Not everything is gonna be the way you think it oughta be." Ain't that the God's honest truth? They chat a little bit about the Sark/Sloane situation, and then Vaughn mentions that he heard Syd met Alice. Syd's all, yeah, she seemed nice. Vaughn's all, yeah, yeah, she is. We have a lot of history and we're trying to blah blah blah sorry I can't be with you Syd but I'm a chickenshit cakes. Syd's all, please, don't explain. Vaughn's all, no, but, like, if things were the other way around...Syd's all, dude? PLEASE DON'T EXPLAIN. Because, really, hearing it out loud isn't going to make me feel ANY better, my friend.

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