Dead Zone

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!

Madeleine herds Julia out, and Johnny glances out the window. Creepy Christopher is on the porch. Johnny tells Bruce, and they both bust out of the house to try to find Creepy Christopher. Seriously, when is Johnny going to realize that the dude isn't really there? Because it didn't happen the first two times he just appeared and disappeared at will. Bruce thinks Christopher vanished into the woods nearby. Sure, if by "the woods" you mean "thin air." Johnny yells to Madeleine to stay inside and lock her doors, and Bruce and Johnny take off into the woods.

Due to the cane and shit, Johnny is a bit behind Bruce as they enter the woods. So Creepy Christopher suddenly appears, and Bruce is nowhere around. Maybe Creepy Christopher is like Old School Snuffleupagus, which makes Johnny Big Bird. Creepy Christopher says he only wanted to see his family, and that he can only see them when Johnny sees them. Johnny is all, "Who are you?" Duh. He's Christopher Wey. Creepy Christopher explains that he's not really there. Double duh. He's in the future, and Johnny is seeing him in a vision. Johnny says that Christopher doesn't know how the visions work. No, I think Johnny doesn't know how the visions work, and I wish he would quit pretending he does. Johnny says he needs to be touching something. Creepy Christopher pulls something out of his pocket. It's the head of Johnny's cane. Johnny checks his own cane, and the head is still there. Johnny drops his cane in shock, and Creepy Christopher disappears.

Johnny picks his cane back up, and Creepy Christopher is there once again. Johnny realizes that they are sharing a vision. He is seeing the future, and Creepy Christopher is seeing the past. Jeez, it's about time he figured it out. Johnny asks how Creepy Christopher got the cane head, and Creepy Christopher tells Johnny to see for himself. Johnny grabs Creepy Christopher's hands and goes into a vision. In the vision, Christopher walks into his house and starts to turn off the security alarm. He is hit from behind with some sort of blunt object and falls to the floor. Cut to Christopher lying in a hospital bed, in a coma. Johnny looks out the window and sees days and nights flashing by, indicating time passing. Suddenly, the city explodes with light, then goes completely dark. Cut to Christopher, now Creepy Christopher minus the black clothes and plus a hospital gown, waking up amidst rubble. He stumbles around a bit. There are a lot of dead bodies lying around. Everything is gray. Creepy Christopher voice-overs that he was in Baltimore, Maryland. Or at least what was left of it, which is not much. Johnny realizes that it was Armageddon, and that Creepy Christopher survived. Because being in a coma renders one immune to...whatever the hell happened. At first I thought it was a nuclear blast, but then I realized it was probably more biblical. Because being in a coma does not equal giant lead-lined underground bunker, so that would be dumb.

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Dead Zone




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