Newlyweds
The Duet

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Nick and Jessica's "World" "Tour"

Nick and Jessica camera-talk, making up some bullshit about how the song has special meaning for them. Jessica says that she always said the first guy who actually takes her breath away, she was going to spend the rest of her life with, and when Nick first hugged her, she had to back up against a wall, she was so short of breath. Lies! Anyway, it was probably just his cologne suffocating her.

They sing. The song is too high for Nick. Nick then says he thought they could have a little dialogue part in the beginning. "Baby, I got something I want to tell you." He's joking, but Jessica keeps stepping all over his bit, telling him he sounds like a Backstreet Boy. Ooh, burn! No, man, he was a 98 Degree-er. That's much…different…somehow. Shot of Creepy Pa Simpson being creepy. More singing. Jessica showboats. "Some great stuff there," says the producer guy. Yeah, some. He quietly says he has to do some work on the song. No shit. Two weeks later -- well, it's at least for sure a different day; they're wearing different clothes -- they gather again to listen to the song. Everyone rocks out. Not Linda Perry. Ma Simpson. Creepy Pa Simpson, all done up like he's Dexter from the Offspring, seriously rocks out, even doing air drums at one point. Yikes. They hold on him for a long time. Ha. Loser. "We got our duet, baby," says Jessica, as they hug.

Next time on. Nick has some closet people come over -- he's going to surprise Jessica by organizing her closets for Christmas. The closet is a disaster. Then Nick plays Jessica a song he wrote and sang, I guess. Jessica laughs at it. He storms out of the room. "Baby, are you mad cuz I didn't like that song?" Nick tells her to drop it. Jessica then says it's a stressful time, the holidays. They go to Nick's family's house. Jessica says she's not going to eat the mincemeat pie. Nick asks Granny what's in the mincemeat pie. "Meat," she says. "Mmmmm," says Nick. Jessica hates meat. All forms. Airport. Nick asks Jessica if for Christmas she'll give him a "sex guarantee" for the year. "Every day?" she says. "At least three times a week." She laughs, knowing that she'll stick to the once a month thing they're currently on, thank you very much. And that's it. See ya!

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Newlyweds

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