The Event

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Monty Ashley: B- | Grade It Now!
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Suicide Party!

This episode has lots of previouslies, because they skipped a week right when things got complicated. I think it's too late for that sort of thing, which is part of the reason that shows like The Event can get in trouble. If you're just now tuning in, you're not going to catch up. Unless you read all the recaps, anyway. You're not going to get caught up by watching a few minutes of random images from the series so far.

For example, we start with someone we've never seen before. It's like this show goes out of its way to keep viewers from knowing what's going on. Whoever this is is some kind of scientist, because he's wearing safety goggles. He's also got a goatee, but I don't think that means anything. He's got a cylinder made of ice that he took out of a big freezer filled with other cylinders of ice. Outside, there's a SWAT team and an FBI agent getting ready to bust in there. They plan to take Mr. Scientist alive. All the scientist is doing is slicing a disc off the end of the ice cylinder, in much the same way that Val Kilmer does in Real Genius. But unlike Val Kilmer, he does not use the cylinder to get a free soda. Instead, he just looks at his cylinder under various high-tech doodads. Then a beeping noise alerts him to the SWAT team currently running through the hallways. He's getting plenty of warning here.

Sophia's iPhone goes off. I can't believe she's still using an iPhone. Hasn't she heard the news about how it tracks her location? That seems like exactly the sort of thing that a fugitive alien doesn't want going on. She's being called by Scientist Guy, who tells her he's on the verge of a breakthrough but is about to be invaded. She tells him he should send her his results, but he can't leave any trace of what he's been working on. Oh, and he's named "Herbert," which is basically like being named "Scientist Q. Scientist." You'd think they could use their magical portal technology to bring him over, but apparently those only work when the stars are in alignment. So he hangs up and runs around pulling levers that emit steam. The ice cylinders melt really, really fast. He also types frantically on computers, which is how you delete everything. Finally, the SWAT team busts in so one of them can shout, "Herbert Mills, you're under arrest!" Then Herbert the Scientist jumps out the fourth-floor window rather than surrender.

Sophia no longer cares about her peoples' moral code or anything. She's holding another of those council meetings where the attendees are most of the aliens that have gotten names, along with a few others thrown in for variety. She says that she has to "affect change" and "winnow" the "native population" to make room for her 2.5 billion people. Herbert Mills (you might remember him from such paragraphs as "the one before this one") was working on something, but he had to kill himself. She assigns someone to start working on whatever Herbert was working on, which will give them a weapon against humanity. As a member of humanity myself, I think I have to object to this plan. Someone complains that if the US Government could find Herbert, they could find the gated community they're hiding out in. They sure could! Especially if people keep using their iPhones. Sophia agrees that the government will become a problem. She doesn't come up with my brilliant plan, which is basically that they should all move to a different country, ideally one that isn't actively looking for aliens in their midst. But instead, her plan is to kill President Martinez. Surely that will make everything better!

Sterling tells everyone in the Situation Room that they found Herbert Mills, and that he was studying ice core samples. We knew that already. We knew it twice already. The Situation Room is way behind the times. During this exposition, we see close-ups of the president putting sugar in his coffee. Riveting! With that out of the way, we move onto more pressing business, which is President Martinez's belief that Sophia is going to go on the offensive soon. Vice President Jarvis suggests that maybe they should tell the other world leaders about the alien invasion, but Martinez hates Jarvis and everything about him. He will not be telling anybody, thank you very much. The Chief of Staff enters and tells Martinez that Senator Lewis has to speak with him, and it's urgent. Everyone leaves and Jarvis looks uncomfortable.

In the Oval Office, Senator Lewis occupies herself by looking at a picture of the First Family. She's mostly looking at the First Lady, Christina. By that, I mean that the First Lady's name is "Christina," not that I'm addressing someone named Christina. Although if you are, in fact, named Christina, I'm okay with you pretending I was talking to you. Hi, Christina! Okay, hang on. I got a little distracted there. Sorry, everybody. It's Christina's fault. My point is that Lewis is looking at a picture of Christina Martinez, the president's wife.

When the president comes in, Lewis tells him that everyone who took the DNA test passed, so the White House is officially alien-free. Except for the first lady, who refused to take the test. Martinez is outraged that his wife would be suspected, but Lewis has some supporting evidence. The picture is from six years ago, but she hasn't appeared to age. Of course, Martinez himself looks the same too, but that's just because the special effects budget got blown out on the Washington Monument explosion and there wasn't anything left over for Photoshop. Martinez thinks it's ridiculous that the aliens would have grabbed him when he wasn't even president yet, but Lewis points out that his wife always encouraged his political ambitions. Martinez, who is the one who insisted on everyone in the White House getting investigated, tells Lewis, "Any attack on her is an attack on me. And that is a fight you will lose." Look, either you want people investigated or you don't. She has a file on his wife, but he refuses to look at it this early in the episode.

Vice President Jarvis enters his office a little sadly because he only has one photo op scheduled for the day. This, of course, is different from every other Vice President, who's constantly in a whirl of incredibly important activity. As soon as Jarvis is alone in his office, his mobile phone rings. It's Sophia, who apparently has a magical ability to know when someone's alone. She tells him not to try tracing the call, and he takes her word for it for some reason. And even though both of their phones have recently been the subject of high-level NSA scrutiny, it's perfectly safe for them to talk. Jarvis is outraged that Sophia killed innocent Americans, but she insists that it's all Martinez's fault for escalating the conflict. I think she's killed more people than he has, if you count all the soldiers that got crushed by that building that one time. Martinez killed about eighty people on those busses, but when Thomas killed 40 of his own people in Inostranka, she didn't seem to mind. Anyway, she eventually gets around to suggesting that she meet with him so they can work together and make him president. He appears to be considering it. He's probably thinking, "That'll show Martinez for being mean to me just because I authorized an assassination attempt on him."

Enough of this US-centric storyline. Off we go to France, where Sean is climbing over a wall. Then he creeps through some trees. This appears to be a standard one-man assault on a heavily defended chateau. But it's less exciting than you might think, because when Sean peeps out from the trees, he sees a bunch of cars leaving through the gate. He runs around to the other side of the chateau and sees some smoke. He gets inside and shouts for Vicky as he looks around. The place doesn't seem to be burning too much yet, and the smoke is coming from the end of the hallway he's in. So he goes down there to check it out and finds himself in the room where we saw that goon setting a fire last episode. The fire looks exactly like it did when the scene ended last time, so I think the goon

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The Event

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