The Event

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Monty Ashley: C | Grade It Now!
There Goes the Phallic Symbol
se people got there late.

Sophia is brooding about how for all her good intentions, she's turned into exactly the alien terrorist leader that Martinez thinks she is. I mean, she's actually just staring straight ahead, but I'm willing to give the show the benefit of the doubt on this issue. We don't have to be jerks all the time, do we? Let's just assume that the character recognizes the irony of her situation. Thomas tries to sympathize with her, but she says that this is all his fault. Thomas says that violence is the only language these puny humans understand. She says that he forced them into a violent confrontation. I'm suddenly distracted by noticing Thomas's lisp. Has he always had that lisp? Anyway, she says that he's united their people with the rhetoric of fear and then they hug it out. Isabel is watching. I'd love to make up something for her to be thinking about, but I don't know what it would be. Maybe "I can't believe I shot myself in the kneecaps just so I could keep trying to enforce my will on these idiots. Let's start blowing things up already!"

You might not think that Martinez has time to stand around in the Situation Room and look worried. If that's what you think, you are wrong. That's what he's doing right now! Sterling enters, and Martinez gets snappy: "Where the hell have you been, Blake?" If you want to be left alone, I'm sure there are rooms in the White House with fewer people in them. He might want to designate an official Brooding Room. Sterling wants to talk privately, so they duck into the hall. Instead of having it in what's supposed to be one of the most secure rooms in the entire country. On his way out of the room, Martinez authorizes the busses for Sophia.

Sterling's news is that he finally realized where he'd seen Thomas before. Remember that time that Thomas and Sterling shared an elevator? It was when Thomas snuck into the hospital to switch the DNA results so Simon wouldn't be identified as one of Them. I thought at the time that it was silly for Thomas to be the one doing that. And I was right, because Sterling has suddenly become a dot-connection machine, realizing why Thomas was there and that Simon is definitely an alien. And, he says, they've been monitoring Simon's phone ever since. It would be nice to assume that this is why Simon's been kept out of the loop, but I think Sterling's talking about the time he showed Thomas to Martinez on the security camera outside the cathedral. And Simon's been mysteriously ignorant since they started cracking Sophia's phone, which is well before that. Maybe Sterling realized all this when he was face-to-face with Thomas in Inostranka, but there was no sign of that at the time.

Simon has snuck into a darkened office so he can call Sophia and be angry at her for blowing up beloved monuments and killing innocent people. Sophia tells him that they used up all their fuel on that stunt, so now they're completely defenseless. She is very clear that it was all a bluff, and that they have no other weapons at the moment. As she tells him all this, we see Martinez and Sterling watching a techie decrypting the conversation. Apparently it's encrypted in some way that requires a few hours of computer-fiddling, but even the encrypted version they're listening to sounds like distorted speech. And he's in the White House for this whole conversation, so it seems like there would be easier ways to find out what he's saying. I'm sure some of Nixon's hidden microphones are in there somewhere. You could just listen to the conversation directly.

France! Vicky drives Sean, who is asleep. An alarm wakes him up, and he says that he needs to enter the code to keep her son's location from going viral. He's going to be awfully sleep-deprived after awhile, isn't he? Maybe Vicky could set up a fake alarm to trick Sean into typing the code somewhere she can see. Or she could tie him to a chair and pistol-whip him until he agrees to stop threatening her son. I'm just throwing out ideas here. She's not as helpless as she's acting. In plot-related news, They're almost to a safe-house where they will meet a contact of Vicky's, named Henri. Sean pries into Vicky's life, and she doesn't answer his questions. I don't think we care about Vicky, do we? Sean's being a jerk to her, but that doesn't mean I want to know all about her childhood or anything.

After parking, they enter a tunnel. Vicky pounds on a big wooden door and goes around back. Sean has been left alone and he immediately discovers that there's a Frenchman on a ledge pointing a gun at him. This, I suppose, is Henri. Bonjour, Henri! Henri says he doesn't know any Vicky Roberts, but when Vicky shows up, he knows her. That was the most pointless Fake Drama moment yet. By the time I realized that the show was even trying to make me worried about Sean getting shot, Vicky was back and Henri was delighted to see her.

Everyone enters the coziest, most welcoming safe house ever. Henri pours wine for Sean and Vicky. Henri and Vicky tell a story about French accents, wine, and an assassination. Henri's accent is a little thick, and I'm not all that interested, so I don't know what they're talking about. Vicky reveals that she was CIA at one point. Henri explains that she left the Agency when she got "burned" by a superior to cover up one of his mistakes. Could that be CIA Director Blake Sterling? While Vicky leaves the room for a moment, Henri wants to know why Vicky is helping Sean. Sean thinks for a moment and decides to just admit that he's blackmailing her. Henri doesn't seem to mind. But he thinks Vicky doesn't do anything she doesn't want to do. More vodka! More wine! I guess it's nice that somebody on this show gets to have a good time, but I don't think Vicky or Sean have really earned it.

Cathedral. Sophia mopes. Leila mopes. All the people without names mingle and swap stories. Michael tells Leila that they're getting out of here. She's furious about the Washington Monument. She says they're terrorists, but Michael tells her to accept her place among them. Michael says that every generation of humans has proven this to be true. "We will always be hunted." And so on. Leila is one of Them now. Also, there's probably foreshadowing involved in that line about what "every generation of humans" has done.

Dempsey and a new archaeologist walk down a tunnel. Dempsey assures New Guy (I'm definitely not learning this one's name until I'm sure he's going to survive) that no living thing has entered these caves in thousands of years. Well, the caves they're in right now are strung with electric lights, but they take a turn into what I guess is the "chamber" that dead guy was talking about. Dempsey finds a cave painting that looks suspiciously like the one from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. It's got one giant person and a lot of teeny people. According to Dempsey, these faces are guardian angels. Oh, and guardian angels are real. Sure, why not. Then he goes up to the giant white figure and looks at a triangle that looks just like the tattoo on his wrist. Did we know he had a tattoo on his wrist?

Three busses pull up outside the cathedral. Sophia tells the people that she knows they're all afraid, but that they must stay calm, because she wants to show Martinez and his soldiers that they're true to their word. Considering that Martinez has been calling her a liar for several episodes, I think it's probably too late for that. She also believes that they'll emerge from this crisis stronger than ever, which I don't think even she believes. There are three busses, and the bus captains will be David, Michael, and Thomas. I don't think they even bothered to establish who David is. Everybody leaves the cathedral and loads onto busses. Isabel is on Thomas's bus, and she's telling him that he should have been the one to give that speech. He tells her that now isn't really the time for her power fantasies. Everyone else with a name is on Michael's bus.

The White House techie is still trying to decrypt Simon's conversation. Martinez and Sterling are standing there watching, because that

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The Event




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