The Event

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: C | Grade It Now!
Trans-Siberian Railway
s's body two blocks. Michael tells Leila that he's not running anywhere and that she's not "one of them." She's with the aliens now. With that out of the way, Michael has other things on his mind: "Now clean up the blood, we're wasting time." Michael puts Luis in a couple of trash bags while Leila wipes down the floor between the door and the kitchen. Wouldn't there be blood outside, then? Actually, why is there so much blood? They bonked Luis's head and twisted his neck, so at worst, we're looking at a nosebleed.

Just then! Sophia knocks on the door. She can sort of see Leila in there. Leila frantically wipes up some blood and opens the door. They exchange awkward greetings, then Sophia comes in. Leila sees some drops of blood she missed, because she's terrible at this. She stands on the blood and claims that Michael's sleeping upstairs. Sophia is unimpressed and directs Leila to go wake him up. Leila won't do it, so Sophia starts to go up the stairs herself. Michael steps out from around the corner to the kitchen, so Leila has to pretend that she didn't hear her father come downstairs. Sophia wants to talk privately with Michael, which he's fine with. Outside, Sophia says she hasn't seen Luis and asks Michael to track him down.

Sean and Vicky are in Murmansk now. That was fast! And I don't think the Trans-Siberian Railway goes there. They're hiding in a crate or something while Vicky peeps at the Irina Bogdanov through binoculars. Frankly, it doesn't look that cold, although I guess people are wearing gloves. I'd say it looks "chilly." For "Siberian cold," I'd want to see people's breath or something. Sean thinks this is the perfect time to talk about why Vicky's helping him. Yeah, discuss this while you're within sight of people who will probably want to kill you. You certainly couldn't have hashed this out in the thousands of miles of train travel. He thinks that her motivation up to now has always been either "money" or "protecting her family," so what's with the trip to Siberia? She asks him why he thinks she's there, and he says he has no idea and doesn't understand her at all. She answers, "That's right. You don't." That strikes me as writers just completely copping out and refusing to think of a reason for a character to do things. Anyway, Vicky says there are no guards on the water side of the boat, so it's time to move.

Sean leaps into a nearby boat. Vicky walks up to the owner and says, "Excuse me. We need your boat." Then Sean chokes the guy out from behind, because he's all about rendering innocent people unconscious if it will make things more convenient for him. They steal the guy's rowboat and go around to the side of the enormous Irina Bogdanov. They climb an artsily-lit rope and creep around with guns drawn. They split up and find each other again at the control room. That doesn't sound nautical enough to be right. Cockpit? Probably not. Whatever it is, it's empty. They're looking for the crew, so they creep into the guts of the ship. Sean stops Vicky from opening a door, because now he's got incredible danger senses and needs to be around to keep the professional superspy from tripping over stuff. They peep through a porthole to see someone who's died from something messy. They put on some handy Hazmat suits and go inside. Looks like the crew members are all dead, so everything's going according to plan, I guess. One of the corpses suddenly makes a claw hand, but it's probably one of those autonomic muscular responses I've been hearing about. Sean and Vicky open hatches and climb down stairs and step over a lot of dead people. They eventually get to the Clean Room and go inside to look at the mummy. Vicky says that the guy was a soldier (based on the furry hat, I'm guessing) but she doesn't know how old the uniform is. Sean looks in the chest cavity and says that the lungs are missing. There's a noise from somewhere above them (above decks or upstairs, whichever you like) and Vicky says they're not alone.

Back outside, but still on the ship itself, some poor sucker asks in Russian where the American is. Sean and Vicky grab him, and he seems startled. They let him look through the porthole to see the dead people, and he says everyone was just hired for the job. After some harassment, he says that they were killed by the Spanish Flu. Suddenly Sean knows that the mummy was wearing a World War I uniform, because the Spanish Flu killed fifty million people back then. So he died of Spanish Flu and then got mummified in permafrost. Then he got thawed out and the Spanish Flu that was dormant in his lungs had somehow turned into something that kills 100% of people in seconds. Let's just say that's not entirely historically accurate. The Russian says the American that hired them must be on the way to the airport with the lungs. Oh, and it's Flight 38, Air Moscow. So they just used the ship for a place to remove the lungs? That doesn't make a lot of sense. Anyway, there's a new goal: stop that guy from bringing the infected tissue to the United States! And again, I'll point out that the aliens are way too America-centric. Why not just release the disease here in Russia? I have nothing against the Russians, but they do have lots of land. And the lungs are already there, which would make things easier.

Cabinet members assemble for the big moment. Jarvis is nervous. Sterling tells Peel that the carpet fibers were contaminated by the cleaning solution, so Peel says there's no actual evidence of wrongdoing. Sterling wants to give a presentation to the cabinet before they vote Jarvis into the presidency, but Peel says that he'd just look crazy.

Peel tells the cabinet that Martinez's condition continues to deteriorate. They need a majority vote to confirm Jarvis, and it has to be slow and dramatic to pad the episode out. We see Sophia staring into space next to a map. Two maps, actually. They're connected by a big arrow. Sterling is in the cabinet meeting because his title is "Director of National Intelligence" and, after a long pause, he votes, "Aye." He goes into his office and mopes. He puts his face in his hands and looks at the floor. He sees himself reflected in the coffee pot. Then he puts his glasses back on and sees the coffee stain on his own shirt cuff. The coffee stain from Martinez's coffee! BUM BUM BUMMMMMM!

In the hostpial, Martinez's machine starts beeping and he goes into spasms. Doctors swarm in.

Follow Monty on Twitter: @montykins. Come on, do it! And consider going to Mysterious Exhortations. How else will you know what Monty thinks of the Fast/Furious franchise? You can email Monty at if that's your idea of a good time.

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The Event




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