The Event

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: D | Grade It Now!
Another Setup Episode

Henri gets home and is surprised by a shovel to the back of the head. Whang! When he comes to, he's duct-taped to a chair and having something thrown in his face. Let's just assume it's wine. Sean (for it is he that has done this stuff) thinks Henri set them up. I think that too! Sean says that Henri will tell him exactly what he wants to know, "or else you'll wish you were dead." Henri is a career superspy, undoubtedly trained to resist the most nefarious interrogation techniques. Sean is a dude with a wispy goatee. Game on!

White House. I'm watching the establishing shots carefully because I'm waiting for them to screw up and include a shot with an unexploded Washington Monument. It hasn't happened yet, but it really restricts their angles. Senator Lewis tells President Martinez that she's got a CDC contact that will help her set up a fake pandemic. And there was one White House holdout for signing the agreement: his wife. I told you! Martinez thinks his wife couldn't possibly be one of them. "Mr. President, you asked me to clean your house. And that's what I'm doing." "Catherine! Let it go." She leaves, smirking.

Wham! Henri gets a punch in the face. He claims that he was deceived. Thwok! Henri begs to be untied. He's actually taped, not tied. Tying, as I understand it, requires knots of some sort. Sean gets a hammer. Henri begs to be trusted, because he needs to go save Vicky. Clomp! Hammer to your hand! Sean trembles, them pulls himself together. CLOMP! BOMP! Henri is ticked off. Sean goes for another shot, and Henri gives up a specific address in Morez. So I guess Sean is now an unapologetic torturer. Is this supposed to endear him to the audience? Because I don't care for it, frankly. At least Jack Bauer got things done; this guy is just flailing around ineffectually. You can't throw out your moral code for no reason!

Simon loads gas cans into a black SUV. He checks to make sure his pistol is loaded. Michael tells him that he's ready, and that Leila isn't coming, but that "She won't be alone." Oops! Gun-toting goons tell Simon to step away from the car. They got shotguns! Looks like Michael's still loyal to Sophia. Simon hits one goon, but he's taken down. Sophia enters and asks if this is his idea of loyalty. She claims that species survive by evolving with changing circumstances. Simon complains about her plan to kill hundreds of millions of people, and she asks, "What about your people?" He says he'll never go along with genocide. "Then today I've lost a second son. Take him." That time, I'm pretty sure it was "son" that she said. So I guess Simon is Sophia's son, but probably not Thomas's father. That's too bad, because I had a whole Chinatown riff that ended with me naming this gated community "Alientown." And I'm still calling it that, but it doesn't really make sense anymore. Too bad! A black car pulls up, and Simon's hustled into it. Leila watches. Sophia tells Michael he did the right thing. He knows. Leila watches. She does a lot of watching.

Dempsey magnifies things and takes notes. He brought his weirdo domino board to France. He considers a stone and throws it into the fire. One of his goons pours gas all over the place and lights a match. Vicky is tied up and gagged. As she struggles, the flames spread. So first of all, I object to the goon's sloppy work ethic in not killing Vicky right away like he was told to. And second, why do we need to burn down the chateau? This is where Cinderella was written, maybe! You don't need to burn down everywhere you stay, you know?

President Martinez, with loosened tie, stares at his wife, who's ordering a salad. He smiles, sort of. The music makes it creepy. He looks unsettled as he walks away.

Follow Monty on Twitter: @montykins. Come on, do it! You can email Monty at if that's your idea of a good time.

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The Event




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