Alias
The Frame

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The Frame

Previously on Alias: The Covenant bioengineered a virus to kill everyone residing in an African prison except for one Kazari Bomani (Djimon Hounsou), an arms dealer with Covenant ties. Bomani captured Sloane, who offered to help Bomani with his nefarious plans. Lazarey asked Syd if she knew about the passenger, but Lauren killed him before he could explain. The rest of the scenes are all from the previous episode: Lauren set up Sloane to take the fall for the leaks; Syd recovered a Rambaldi artifact, which was then traded to Sark to get Dixon's daughter back; and Jack totally figured out that Lauren is eeeeevil.

Los Angeles. Vaughn and Weiss go for a jog in the park. And Weiss needs it. I love Weiss no matter how much he weighs, but he has been looking a bit...husky lately. Vaughn jogspositions that Lauren's parents have been married for thirty-four years and they still spend all their time together, whereas he had one day off this month and spent it playing hockey with a bunch of high school kids. The jog ends, and Weiss immediately crashed on a nearby bench and pulls out some food. I don't know if he was eating a candy bar or an energy bar of some sort, but either way: hee! Vaughn looks pained and asks if he can crash on Weiss's couch if necessary. Weiss agrees, and adds that Vaughn will have to wipe off the Cheese Nips. Are they going to make a plot point out of Weiss's weight gain, or did Greg Grunberg just gain weight in real life and they're trying to explain it away? Weiss heaves a sigh, and then gently taps Vaughn's leg with his fist and says he's sorry. That is such a guy thing. If this situation involved two women, they would have analyzed the entire relationship from first date to what he said on the phone that morning already. Vaughn's phone rings, and he answers it. Look at the guns on Vaughn! Have we ever seen him wearing a short-sleeved shirt? Sadly, I'm sure there are people who could give me an episode number and approximate time of appearance on that one.

Oops Center. Vaughn tells a bang-a-licious Syd (who has bangs in her hair, not that she's not also bangable...you know what I mean) that he has a lead on a map that will lead them to a key, which will open Rambaldi's box. Syd points out that Project Black Hole couldn't get that information in two years of looking, and Lauren says that the Covenant won't be able to open it either. Vaughn says they need to get the map first, and that he has information from "an asset in Mexico City." Dixon tells Vaughn that a plane is waiting, and Syd says she'd like to go too. Lauren asks if that's a good idea, and Syd turns, clearly thinking, "Bitch, step off." Lauren clarifies that Sloane made it clear that the contents of the box pose a risk to Sydney. Syd says that Sloane could be lying, and besides, she wants to find out why the box has her mother's name inscribed on it. And she can't find that out unless she goes to Mexico? Weak. Lauren gives the departing couple an evil glare, which Dixon totally catches. Dixon tells Lauren that her father has ordered an official inquiry into the disappearance of the artifact, and Lauren says she's already been questioned, and said she knows nothing about it. Dixon thanks her, and Lauren lies, "You know where my loyalties lie." Yeah, he totally does, and you're going down!

Mexico City. Again. Some more. Remember when they used to go to Italy and shit? Syd and Vaughn talk to Kishell, and it took me about a million years to figure out when we had seen this character before, so I hope you appreciate that link! Kishell's all scary scar-faced and wheezy. Kishell says that the Rambaldi Box has not been opened since Rambaldi's time, but there's a legend that Josef Stalin made a great effort. Syd is surprised to hear that Stalin was a Rambaldi follower. Kishell says that everyone is interested in the Rambaldi Box because it's rumored to contain a plague-like virus that would kill millions. Kishell tells a little story about how Stalin sent archaeologists around the world to look for the key, as we see two dudes digging a giant hole in the desert. In 1941, that team found a crystal map, but then the archeologists started fighting over who would get credit for the find, and killed each other. So how in the hell did anyone ever find out about this little tale if both guys died? And why was there a camera there? Heh.

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