The Fugitive

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C | Grade It Now!
Living on the Sly in Danger

Chuck "Krakow" Brixius sits at his computer and reports that his ruse was only a temporary fix to the sitch, and that the police force is conducting door-to-door searches. Kimble struggles out of bed, saying he should leave because Chuck has risked enough. Chuck tells Kimble he can't leave if the cops are about, and he's got a fever and temp of 103 to boot. Kimble mutters, "Infection," and then rolls back his sleeve to expose some nasty sores on his forearms. "Probably cellulitis from the barnacles," Dr. Fugitive self-diagnoses. Chuck tells him that's probably the reason for his hallucinations. If Chuck's so helpful, I'm wondering why he didn't get food for Dr. Fugitive like three hours ago. Chuck overrides all Kimble's arguments about why he should leave and displays his extensive knowledge of police procedure by saying things like "they've only assigned six uniforms to this" and "they can't afford to throw more than thirty-five grand at this, which means I doubt they will make it into this neighborhood." Wow. Maybe he should look into getting a spot on NYPD Blue or Third Watch, since he'd have an acting background in police procedure and aiding and abetting a criminal. Chuck tells Kimble to rest because he knows he's innocent and he wants to help him. There's a knock at the door. There's a police officer knocking, and in a moment taken directly from Silence of the Lambs, Chuck answers the door to his mother. Collective sigh of relief.

Meanwhile, the cop, a high-talker (tm Seinfeld), shows Kimble's picture to a resident and tells her, "Not to worry, ma'am, just be aware and keep your doors and windows locked." Okay, the "not to worry" would be instantly negated in my mind by the "keep your doors and windows locked." Either they post police officers around my house, or I'm packing my bags and my cats and getting the hell out of there, because I've just seen too many movies.

Chuck's well-meaning mother blathers on and on about excessive traffic in town because they are stopping every car and checking them: "They even looked in my trunk!" Kimble starts to pass out in a back room. Mrs. Brixius hands over the large UPS product placement to her son and says, "More computer gadgets, I suppose?" and starts to raise his blinds, making motherly comments about keeping things too dark and too filthy. She heads to the bathroom, saying she's going to wash the towels. Chuck tries to stop her. In the bathroom, steam encircles Kimble and he looks over to the shower, which seems to be in use. If this is another Silence of the Lambs moment, I'm turning it off, because I can't stand that bathtub scene. A wet and naked Helen reaches around the curtain and tells Kimble she likes his hair dark. "I like it even better when it's wet," she says suggestively. Naked Kimble joins his dead wife in the shower and says, "You're so beautiful," in a wooden tone. Helen says, "Come and get me!" but Kimble finds himself naked and alone in the shower. Chuck comes in and pulls back the curtain, revealing Kimble fully dressed and lying down in the tub. Chuck apologizes for his mother's intrusion and says it's the price he pays for living in her guesthouse. Kimble tells him he saw his wife and it was so real. "Fever dreams, from the infection," Chuck tells him, and then tells a family story about his uncle cutting himself up on coral and seeing dancing panthers every time he closed his eyes. I didn't realize coral and barnacles were such hallucinogens. Wonder where I can score some. Chuck rips open the UPS placement with a retractable razor tool and tells him he "obtained" some antibiotics through a medical supply site. Kimble makes note of Chuck's address, which happens to be on Sandpiper Way. Kimble has a sudden hallucination of being an anal-retentive pilot in Nantucket, Mass., with a laid-back pilot brother and a high-school sweetheart who runs the lunch counter at the airport. In the interest of believability, Chuck says the medical supply place is based in Charleston, which explains away the same-day delivery. Chuck read up on cellulitis on the web and found out what sort of antibiotic would prevent the infection from turning into blood poisoning. Kimble wonders how Chuck could get the medication without a medical I.D. number. Chuck pats himself on the back, saying, "Dr. Kimble, I diverted a manhunt. I broke into the county mainframe and figured out where you landed on the beach by factoring in the wind direction, the low tide, the new moon, water currents and your weight. Getting a sack of liquid is what I consider the easy part." Yeah, especially when Dateline and 20/20 investigate how simple it is to get Viagra and other prescription drugs over the Internet. Kimble asks about getting some food. Chuck says that's easy and his mom's a great cook. Kimble fumbles with the I.V. package, and Chuck offers to help with the needle insertion. "I'll do it," Kimble tells him, "thanks." Back away from the needle, buddy.

In the Heartland, Lt. Absent Dad is still trying to convince the "local yokels" in Myrtle Beach that he's with Chicago homicide. I don't know much about police procedure, but yelling that you're trying to get some "damn information" and asking, "You trying to tell me how to do my job?" doesn't seem like the best way to get local authorities to work with you. Lt. Absent Dad gives them his badge number and slams down the phone.

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The Fugitive




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