The Fugitive

Episode Report Card
admin: C | Grade It Now!
Ask not for whom the bell tolls

Previously, Kimble's dad dies and Gerard has mucho family problems due to his chasing Kimble.

Computerized map of the USA. You know, the more I stare at that map, the more it looks like something out of Tron. Blip on Philadelphia, PA. A pack of marauding media converge around Kimble's sis Maggie, intercut with shots of news clips of Kimble, looking very Sandy Duncan with his awful blond hair. Close up of a headline: "Fugitive's Father Dies at 68."

Maggie gets out of a limo. The media goes into a frenzy -- a frenzy, I tell you! More headlines. More slo-mo shots of Kimble's sister. I'm sorry, it's her father's funeral and she couldn't comb her hair? Oops. Sorry, I don't know how my mother got control of my keyboard there.

Cut to Gerard standing alone in a quieter part of the cemetery. Kimble's sis spots him. Shaggie marches up to him and spits mud in his eye: "If you've come to offer your condolences consider them accepted; now please leave." Gerard smarmily tells her he is sorry, but that he wouldn't even be there if she hadn't broken the law. Shaggie says, "You obviously haven't buried someone you love, Lieutenant, or you couldn't do this." Blipvert of Gerard's wife drowning. Okay, you know what? I think the ASPCA should be notified of gratuitous dead horse beating. WE GET IT. He's torn up with guilt. It's killing him. It's killing US, the viewing public. Enough already!

Cut to a very big close-up of Kimble, murmuring, "They're burying my father today. I can't even be there. I'm so tired of this…being apart…not being with other people." Another voice says, "I don't understand. Why can't you be with other people?"

Back to the cemetery. A brunette is walking with a curly-headed fellow and Lt. Gerard. Gerard is hounding her. She snaps that the last time she spoke with Kimble was years ago. Gerard points out she donated to his defense fund. Exasperated, and brows knitting at a furious pace, the woman says, "I did it for Maggie." She shakes him off and goes up and hugs Shaggie, offering her condolences, saying it must be especially hard with that cop hanging around. Shaggie says proudly, "It didn't stop Richard from seeing Dad." Wow, apparently Shaggie doesn't know how to work a comb or the mechanism to keep her mouth shut. Jeez. She continues and says, "Nobody stops Richard." The brunette gives an entirely inappropriate smirk and says, "Believe me, I remember." That smirk gives her statement an entirely disgusting innuendo. Ew. Ew!

Back to Kimble. He's talking to a priest, but not in a confessional -- right out in the pews. Is this the "new Catholic Church" they're always talking about? Since when did this happen? Kimble tells the priest he doesn't even know where to start. The priest, bland and avuncular and straight outta Central Casting, says, "How about with this?" and holds up the St. Christopher's medal Kimble's dad gave him last episode. Instant replay of that touching scene. Am I watching a TV show or a goddamned football game, here?

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The Fugitive




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