The Fugitive
St. Christopher's Prayer

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C- | Grade It Now!
St. Peter Pan

Lt. Bubba enters his C.O.'s office and starts to tell him something about being online, but Capt. Pushover ignores him and asks if he and Joss-Sara have ever taken ballroom dance lessons. Again, Lt. Bubba tries to say something, but Capt. Pushover says, "You know, start off with a little swing, a little salsa --" I think Capt. Pushover knows he's not ever going to be a main character, so instead he's trying to be the quirky character that everyone likes and looks forward to seeing if he's on the show. Sorry, buddy, but you are no Javier. Linda, the woman who acts as Lt. Bubba's erstwhile and sassy assistant, comes in and hands Capt. Pushover a paper. The marked passage has a picture of Capt. Pushover next to the headline, "McLaren in running for top cop post." Linda tells Lt. Bubba that he'd better be nice to the new chief of detectives, and Capt. Pushover says it's a long shot at this point but admits that it's already gone to his head. More banter with Lt. Bubba about ballroom dance and the fact that Sara's still mad at him. Lt. Bubba persists with his reason for coming into Capt. Pushover's office. He starts to say that it's about Kimble, but Capt. Pushover says, "You know, I thought we could start with the one introductory lesson and then --" Lt. Bubba interrupts him to say that Pa Kimble's father is dying, and Lt. Bubba is convinced Kimble will try and see him in Philly. They trot out the same tired argument that Lt. Bubba needs to do the right thing and walk away from this case, because he's got responsibilities to his work and family. Lt. Bubba walks out of the office, and we know he's not going listen to Spike Lee.

The Kimble family, sans Pa, sits around the dinner table while Unc Kimble tells Maggie that she ought to turn her brother in. Unc Kimble even tries to say that Kimble's trial and on-the-run status are the reason why Pa got sicker. Cuz Kimble tries weakly to shut his father up. Meanwhile, a man lies dying in the next room and listens to all of this. Unc Kimble tries to say that he sees "people like Richard" in his job every day, and I start to think that he's a criminal psychologist or something pertinent to Kimble's situation, until he mentions "every fraudulent insurance claim" and I realize that he's just some hack insurance guy. Maggie agrees with me, because she spits out, "Don't even try to compare my brother to one of the lowlifes you work with in your stupid job!" Unc Kimble blabs about the forensic evidence, blah blah blah holier-than-thou-cakes. Maggie tells Unc Kimble to keep his opinions to himself. Unc Kimble tells Maggie that if Richard calls again he will have to contact the police. In his sickroom, Pa Kimble looks sad.

Lt. Bubba packs a bag and interrogates Joss-Sara about his daughter's whereabouts. Joss-Sara says she called all of Alex's friends. "Well, did any of them seem to be covering?" Joss-Sara says she doesn't know, because he's the cop and she's just the wicked stepmother. A door slams downstairs, and Alex slouches by. Lt. Bubba orders her into the room and puts her through the wringer. When he points out that she forgot to call home, Alex says, "I had a pretty good teacher." Ouch. She tries to leave the room, but Lt. Bubba shouts, "Freeze!" Okay, we get it, You Are A Cop, give it a rest. (Ha, get it -- arrest? I'm funny without even trying.) He asks his daughter if she's high. Can I ask why parents always think that a missed curfew automatically means you're high? I've never seen how the two correlate. Alex says, "Am I high? Am I high? No, I'm not high." Three times saying "high" like that gives her breath away, and Lt. Bubba sniffs it out like Scooby Doo smelling Scooby Snacks in Shaggy's pot-filled pocket. He tells her he smells liquor on her breath. Alex protests that she only had one beer. What kind of a teenager doesn't know how to cover up liquor breath with onions, garlic or peppermint? Lt. Bubba sentences her to her room for a month without grilling her about how his fourteen-year-old got her hands on beer. "No phone, no friends, and no beer!" Lt. Bubba says (No shrimp stew, no shrimp pie, no shrimp gumbo, no shrimp pudding…). For some reason, the "and no beer" cracks me up. Alex tearfully goes to her room. Joss-Sara examines her wedding ring and reflects on the fact that she has more lines in this one episode of The Fugitive than Jennifer Love BoobJob allowed her in the whole series. Instead of saying this out loud, though, she just asks her husband who's going to enforce Alex's sentence if he's going to Philly Cheese Steak Town. Lt. Bubba rolls his eyes to the ceiling and sighs self-righteously.

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The Fugitive




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