I chose "Shutting Down the Gates" as the title for this weecap not only because it's indicative of what happens in the episode, but because this is also the last weecap TWoP will be doing for the show. We're shut down, baby. The show just hasn't been able to drum up enough interest, and at the end of this third and final 'cap, I'll take a look at where things may have gone wrong.
It's the middle of the night in The Gates. Sarah and Nick Monohan are sleeping, but awakened when a phone call alerts Nick to a residential burglary. In Marcus's apartment, Teresa argues on the phone with her roommate. This (and her ensuing explanation to Marcus) goes on for too long. Did we really need to go through with that just so Marcus could invite her to stay with him? Bring on the vampires and werewolves! Marcus gets a call to join Nick at the possible crime scene.
They arrive at the McCallister mansion and find it seemingly empty, as the McCallisters are supposed to be out of town. Nick goes to check it out, but Marcus reminds him that one of the rules of The Gates is that they can't go in without the owner's permission. What's the purpose of a burglar alarm, then? At the sound of breaking glass, the Keystone Kops draw their weapons and go inside. The music tries to make things seem tense, but it just seems like wasting time. Eventually, they come upon a man in pajamas and a robe. Nick's shouts, "FREEZE! FREEZE! FREEEEEEZE! !!!" because he doesn't realize that pajamas are the international symbol for "It's the homeowner, dumbass!" Mr. McCallister calmly explains they just got back home and sends them on their way. Once they're gone, he turns to a woman who's been hidden behind the kitchen island until now. She sits, panting, in a pool of blood. A drop of blood gleams on her chin. "It's OK," he tells her. "They're gone." Nonsensically, the bloody McCallisters have nothing to do with the rest of the episode. Opening credits.
At the station the next day, Leigh gets to work tracking down the glitch that must have accidentally tripped last night's burglar alarm. Before things can get too boring, we switch over to Claire, who's in her kitchen, piling gobs of bright red frosting on an assortment of cupcakes. Dylan walks in, bemoaning the fact that he can't get a weekend dinner reservation to wine and dine a venture capitalist and his wife. Claire offers to cook, eager to have a "project." Dylan and his silly man-scarf are pleased.
School. Adorable Brett approaches Andie at her locker and becomes even more adorable when he says he finds Andie's gift with words hot. But he's not similarly gifted and apologizes for freaking her out with the "I love you" in the last episode. She kisses him on the cheek and leaves him and his adorably ruddy cheeks so that she can go talk to a friend in the washroom about the complexities of being a teenage two-timer. Elsewhere in the school, Sarah Monohan is bringing a tray of fudge for the bake sale, where she's met by Brett's Martha Stewart-style mother, Karen. Sarah immediately feels like crap in relation to Karen's seeming perfection.