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The Godmother

Previously on Weeds, Nancy got her stash swindled from her by the Rent-A-Cop at Valley State. She told, among other people, Doug, Alejandro, and Conrad and Heylia. At the end of the day, Rent-A-Cop showed up at her doorstep, looking pretty well pummeled, and returned the weed.

Currently on Weeds, Heylia is giving Conrad shit for beating up the Rent-A-Cop on Nancy's behalf. Ahhhh, see we all thought it was Alejandro. At least, I did. Heylia's pretty well furious that Conrad would stick his neck out like that to help someone who isn't even family. She says Nancy's gotten too big too fast and she needs to take her lumps when they come to her, without Conrad out there acting like a safety net, all so he can look like a big man in Nancy's eyes. And it's risking Heylia's business besides. You can tell this has been building up within Heylia all season: white lady, don't know shit, growing her business like gangbusters in part because of the inherent white lady advantages she's got, and being reckless and putting Heylia's ass in danger as a result. Conrad accepts this verbal dressing down and apologizes. Heylia says he won't be speaking to Nancy anymore -- she comes over, he goes elsewhere -- or else Heylia will freeze him out in a heartbeat. Vaneeta enters the room looking stricken. Heylia's in no mood for any crap, but Vaneeta's current issue is that she's going into labor. Heylia whoops that her grandbaby's on the way and she hops into action.

Botwins'. Nancy's gussying herself up for Shane's karate tournament and making him promise many, many times that he will not bite anyone. Shane takes notice of his mom's primping and says she doesn't even know if Peter will be there. "He's creepy," he says, "and he smells like flea collar." I'm with you there, li'l weirdo. Well, the "creepy" part. I'll take Shane's word for it about the flea collar thing.

At the karate tournament, Peter sees Nancy and says he was hoping she'd have called him. She says she meant to, and she really should, and she will. "We'll have fun," she says, awkward as you please. Meanwhile, Shane's lining up against his opponent and growling. The growling turns into sustained barking, which chases the other kid away. Peter notes that Shane's utilizing his reputation to his advantage.

Hodeses'. Isabelle's playing Celebrity/Publicist with her friend Peggy, a game which consists of the publicist continually telling the celebrity she's "so hot." Please, please, please let me go on believing this isn't a real thing kids play. Cowboys and Indians was gross, too, I agree; but this would just make me sad. Anyway, Isabelle asks Celia if Peggy can stay over. Celia hems and haws, but Isabelle says she can use an extra toothbrush and tomorrow she can wear one of Isabelle's "incentive outfits." Hee. Celia doesn't even have the energy to make up an objection to this so she just...walks away.

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