The Good Wife
A Defense Of Marriage

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Continental Breakfast Is Not Real Breakfast

Nick: "No, and yes. Carry on."
Cary: "...And so after this basketball injury, I went and asked them if they knew anything that could be used to destroy you -- speaking as your attorney, of course, and bestest friend -- and it turns out that Bill, the guy Kalinda beat up with her Ramona Flowers mallet in the season premiere, is somebody you know from drugdealer jail."
Nick: "Just like me!"
Cary: "That's right! And so I thought, is that all there is? And you know what, there wasn't. Turns out you're all kinds of fucked up, like, the JV version of Lamond Bishop."
Nick: "Good thing you're my lawyer, huh?"
Cary: "That's the thing. Now that I know all of this, I'm super worried about you! For example, one of your tow jobs* recently turned out to have 80g of heroin in the trunk. Not the tow truck, of course, but the thing it was towing. Which really explains basically your entire storyline, come to mention it..."
Nick: "Well aren't you a good lawyer. I hope you don't mind that I'm going to have you killed."
Cary: "I just wanted you to know that you should probably murder me, yes. Good day, sir!"

*(Snerk.)

FOSTER TESTIMONY

Bucky: "So you're pretty cagey on the phone, yeah?"
Foster: "No, just normal. I'm not into defrauding the government or being in a conspiracy, so I have no reason to be weird on the phone."
Bucky: "I'm going to play this wiretap of you talking to your husband now..."
L/G: "Objection! Disingenuous objection!"
Brother Owen: (Sad gay face.)
Bucky: "Um, gay marriage is not real marriage, any more than continental breakfast is actual breakfast. At best it's a condescending favor we're doing in lieu of acknowledging gay people's personhood. Come on."
Brother Owen: (Sad gay face.)
L/G: "It's 2012 and the straight married couple that wrote this show has the luxury of holding a fictional spirited debate on whether gay people are people. The fucking definition of privilege."
Brother Owen: (Sad gay face.)
Jacob: (Same.)
Judge Bebe: "Hang on, I have to think about whether gay people are people. It's okay though, because I am beloved by their imaginary, monolithic community. I was in that musical that time. I mean, I was in every musical, all the time. They love that shit."

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The Good Wife

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