Judge Bebe: "It seems to me there are mixed signals on the constitutionality of DOMA, and it is left up to the individual courts to decide on the veracity of a marriage. Please present me with evidence on their pretend gay marriage so we can have a referendum on whether or not they're people. A rousing debate, with them in the room! And then we can all go home to our real lives and forget all about it."
LEE & LOY
David Lee: "Are you Veronica Loy? Alicia handed you over to me, Family Law."
Veronica: "Do you want to hear me say vagina a bunch of times? It's like my only trick. Wait no I have a worse one, hang on. It goes, Hey, are you Jewish by any chance? Let's have a frank chat about your penis."
David Lee: "Whoa, I can't believe there is a person alive who could actually blow my mind."
Veronica: "Am I going to lose all my husband's money to his son, like Anna Nicole Smith?"
David Lee: "It seems like he changed his will at the last second because the son told him you were cheating on him and/or wanted a divorce. Any of that true?"
Veronica: "No. And by no, I mean yes. Oh, is that not creepy enough? How about I'm so flaky and dumb that I might actually believe the answer is no."
Veronica finds Will and Brother Owen chatting in the hallway and Owen instantly realizes that she thinks he and Will are gay on each other. Why? Because whenever a gay dude talks to a man of any kind, he's imagining having gay sex with him or trying to trick him into having gay sex with him, obviously. Alicia gets back into the office just as Veronica is finishing up some story about Alicia's swimming career as a child, and his horrified that Owen is letting her talk to people.
Alicia: "Oh my God, how many times did she say vagina?"
Will: "Eleven. She said vagina like eleven times. I'm so glad you're here."
David Lee and Veronica agree that they'll let him do the talking, smash-cut to everybody yelling at everybody else, of course, Veronica included. David Lee gets the son to confirm that his tattling on Veronica brought about the change to the dad's will, and then notifies him they'll be bringing suit for "intentional interference with expected inheritance." More yelling, and then the guy's lawyer drags him away.
David Lee: "You're going to get everything. He has no proof of this cheating."