GOLD & ASSOC

Eli: "Horton, tell me why you are telling Donna Brazile you don't like Peter?"
Horton: "Because he didn't give me a cush job at the SA when he got reelected."
Eli: "Do you not understand the appearance of corruption that Peter Florrick drags everywhere he goes? Due to his immense corruption? Peter had to hire on merit..."
Horton: "Did you seriously just say that to me?"
Eli: "Look..."
Horton: "Boo hoo, I work at a think tank now! Get me a job or else. They call it patronage for a reason, Eli."
Eli: "Yes, I imagine the best way to impress Donna Brazile with his sterling character is to do some governmental nepotism. I'll just call it patronage, there's the ticket. It's not unclean to offer patronage."
Horton: "Don't give me that shit. It's only nepotism or cronyism when people other than affluent white men do it."

FLORRICK/D'ARCY

Alicia: "How would you like your first day in court, cross-examining their next witness?"
Caitlin: "Uh..."
Alicia: "Caitlin, Mentee, Darling, you're a legal powerhouse and a tremendous human. You can do this. You can do anything!"

Alicia: "What I'm not telling you is, I want to beat Crozier at her own game, and the best way to defeat lies is through truth. She acts like a sweet little blonde idiot, but the perfect thing is that you really are one!"

Caitlin: "...OR AM I?"

(Nope. Not on this show. Ever.)

GARDNER

The sisters bother Will about: The contents of his refrigerator, the logistics of his kitchen, whether he fought his suspension hard enough, whether Sara's husband -- a "portmaster" of wherever -- can help him get a real job, whether Lockhart, Question Mark is really as good as he thinks it is, why he doesn't have a girlfriend...

Aubrey: "He does! Sweet voice on the phone! And he won't tell me about it! It's a lawyer on this suicide case and he refuses to talk to me about it!"

They grab his yearbook, with the caveat that usually he likes them younger. Sometimes eternally younger, like, "sparkly yellow-eyed mother figure to a coven of vegetarian vampires in the wilds of Washington state" younger.

CHAMBERS

Crozier: "Your Honor, it is somehow a desecration of Kara's memory to show her Facebook page in court!"
Alicia: "Caitlin. Act stupid. Go."
Caitlin: "Your Honor, I'm just a sweet little blonde idiot and I'm confused!"
Judge Josh Hamilton: "What is it, sweetie?"
Caitlin: "Well, with one finger in my dimple and the other twisting my hair, I just wanted to ask how on earth you could look at her Facebook Wall as anything other than a timeline establishing her mental state leading to her suicide?"
Judge: "Little lady, that's because there is no good reason. Nancy Crozier, stop being mean to this little girl!"