Will: "Okay, so this isn't about me? It has to do with Wendy Scott-Ca..."
Diane: "-- Speakerphone, William. No, also David Lee got served. It's about this divorce settlement we did. The Huntleys."
Will: "I remember the case. Why's she mad?"
Alicia: "We got that lady half his VC company assets, the house is Highland Park, and sole custody of the daughter."
Diane: "It's the husband, suing for Alienation of Affection. Illinois is one of seven states that still has that on the books."
Will: "What? That's a joke about Depression-Era changing gender roles that's even on the books. Something else is going on."
Diane: "Yeah, considering we're three days from refinancing -- not to worry, Alicia, it's just about short-term liquidity -- I'm thinking it's BS."
Will: "Let's get rid of these people. Where's David Lee?"
David Lee enters screaming, predictably enough, but less predictably he's wearing this, like, Versailles footman's costume. When I said I hoped he was gay, I guess I should have been more specific. I meant the regular kind, you know, like where it's hot. Not the weird imaginary kind.
David Lee: "Let's countersue, on principle."
Diane: "David, have you enlisted as a Modern Major General?"
David Lee: "No, I'm a Yale alum."
Diane: "Asked and answered."
Alicia: "This is the best fucking day of my entire life."
David Lee: "Florrick, put that grin away and accompany me down memory lane. You were on that divorce in your first year, and there was a stripper involved."
Diane: "Good! There can't be Alienation of Affection if the husband was cheating."
Alicia: "Legal language is a hoot. As is David Lee wearing makeup and tights."
Diane, fucking with his cravat: "Just get Kalinda and stop looking at his ass in those tights. David Lee, is there anything I should know?"
David Lee: "What on earth do you mean? This was straight-up division of assets, nothing weird, nothing special. We did right by her."
Diane: "Sure, that's what I meant."
Alicia: "Will, did somebody say Wendy Scott-Carr?"
Will: "Don't worry about it. Don't ask questions. David Lee, why are you dressed like Big Block of Cheese Day?"
David Lee: "I wanted to impress April Huntley's attorney."
Alicia: "Julius still works at this law firm, and also still runs her business stuff."
Diane: "Let Will talk to her, for political reasons that are not yet clear."
Will: "And then the husband's attorney is from Los Angeles? How come?"