Laura, adorably: "Don't jinx me!"
COMMISSIONER #2 (BIX)
Punch: "We have over thirty thousand complaints..."
Alicia: "Yeah, all drummed up by you, freak. Meanwhile, there is tons of nudity and profanity in Schindler's List."
Punch: "Are you totally joking right now?"
Alicia: "Breast cancer is a big deal, man."
Burl: "That's ... ridiculous."
Alicia: "What's ridiculous is making an exception for one filmmaker and not another!"
Dodd: "I don't really think I'm any less 'decent' than Stephen Spielberg per se..."
Everybody: "Oh my God, cram a sock in it already."
L/G: "Tell the Commissioner about your dead mom. Now."
Dodd: "Well, my mom was really funny. She got breast cancer, and on the day she died, she let out a massive fart..."
Everybody: "You are the worst."
Dodd: "I mean, she kept cracking jokes about it. I am actually trying to be sincere, which I'm even worse at than being funny. She was just so close to death, and still making jokes, and I just..."
Dodd: "I can't do it. This is like a sales speech, it just won't come out. I can do a lot of mortifying shit, but I can't kitsch up the worst thing that ever happened to me. I can't sell that for you guys."
I have a lot of sympathy for that, actually. It's the only thing she pulls that I really like in this whole episode. Burl Preston, not so much.
Alicia: "Gill's still with us, and Bix is the one we just told the fart joke to, so it comes down to Martinez tomorrow... Oh, hey. Do you know why Burl Preston was asking about the firm? He asked about the bankruptcy, and I just said we were doing well and we still had our major clients, and then he asked about Family Law... Did I do wrong?"
L/G: "Uh, hang on while we mute you."
(L/G: "He's after us, kid. That's why he was talking to Clarke.")
Will: "Alicia, tell him we lost Edelstein."
Alicia: "Our top client? You want me to emphasize we're not doing great? Okay, boss."
Diane: "Preston's mostly about divorce..."
Will: "That's why Family Law. Let's fight this in court! Let's fight everything in court, all the time!"
Diane: "The judge will listen to Clarke. It's time for a coup, Will. Where are we going to get the other $48M of the $60M we need to get out from under him?"