Commissioner: "Then why did you tell the joke?"
Dodd: "If I could get into a time machine and somehow erase you from ever having to hear that scary bad word that scares you so bad even though it's a word, I would. But since that is retarded and you are retarded, I'll simply call myself a bad, bad girl and hope you forgive li'l ol' me."
Commissioner: "The reason we have standards is to protect viewers -- me -- from indecency -- as I define it."
Burl Preston: "Um, if the point is about protecting viewers, they voted with their remotes. Christian Finnegan's ratings have been through the roof ever since the tits."
Commissioner: "I am not listening to a word you're saying. I just want Miss Dodd to sign a pledge that she will never rape a clown with her tits again."
Therese Dodd, in her first sensible move in the entire episode, lays a big wet one on Cary Agos and leaves the fuckin' room, because that is ridiculous. This whole thing is ridiculous. I guess the only real difference between a tit joke and a dick joke is that if it's a woman telling it, you can still find a way to put her over your knee.
But points to Burl Preston, who tries to spin her silent smooch-and-bounce as an unqualified yes, so that CBS won't get fined three mil. That part was pretty hilarious.
Geneva Pine: "Nice to meet you, gorgeous white woman. You know we just had a hiring freeze after some of us -- ahem -- objected to race-preferential hiring and promotion practices here at the SA. So let's say you're going to need to dig out of quite a hole right now."
Hellinger: "I'm Amanda Peet."
Geneva Pine: "And yet I'm going to find a way to have a problem with that."
Hellinger: "I can't tell if you're being rude or just normal."
Geneva: "Well it was nice meeting you and we'll keep your résumé on file, but maybe you should try the PD's office..."
Peter, entering: "Captain Hellinger? I'm assuming. Anyway, you have the job."
Geneva: "The hell?"
Peter: "Yeah, whatever. She's white, she's hot, what else is there. I am a very busy gubernator right now and she comes highly recommended."
Laura: "Thanks for all your help, Geneva Pine! The real world isn't so scary after all."
Geneva: "The fuck it isn't."
Burl: "Your Honor, we've really been negotiating hard for you, but there are still things in play that..."