The Good Wife
Anatomy Of A Joke

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
Safe Harbor

Will: "No, bitch. Your Honor, Burl's dicking you around. We agreed to team up with him to lobby the FCC, to save CBS's bacon. He's playing us off each other."
Judge: "Okay, and they're still chilling on that?"
Will: "Yeah, but whatever because there aren't any damages so there's nothing to decide here."
Burl: "But affiliates dropped our show! Thanks to the PTC bothering them with nuisance calls and the weird Jesus pressure emitting at all times like radiation from their homeschooled, depressive genitalia."
L/G: "Right, which has been more than offset by a corresponding rise -- as Mr. Preston recently argued in front of the FCC, boom -- in viewership. Prurient viewers hoping to see more tits, no doubt, but this is a question of damages, not whether or not CBS's demographic is good people. There are no damages; this is just Burl Preston being a dick to Therese Dodd on behalf of the network on behalf of crazy people from an imaginary era who need everybody else to follow their weirdo rules."
Burl Preston: "Ah, me! The most dastardly enemy of all. I fall before my own brilliance; I am the conqueror... of myself."
Will: "Get the mouse, F. Murray."


Burl: "Fine, I will take on the debt of L/G and pay out the capital contributions of equity partners, but all severance packages will be the responsibility of the existing partners, because fuck those guys, because now I gotta pay $3M instead of $1M if Dodd's little 'bad girl' act with Martinez didn't do the trick. Bad day in court. I will take these bitches apart like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman."
Clarke: "Okay and also you agree to honor the contracts of existing partners?"
Burl: "For a year. And then I will chase them through the tattered concrete remains of the 27th Floor with a shotgun and hungry hounds."

...But what's this? David Lee, forming out of the shadows, hanging upside down like a bat.

David Lee: "Hellloooooo, Burl Preston."
Burl: "Hey bitch, I was just buying you."
David Lee: "No prob, go on. I just want to bear witness to my emancipation. Once you buy us, I'm free of these jerks!"
Burl: "Uh, no you're not. I'm buying you."
David Lee: "Partners just rewrote my contract! If they're sold or absorbed, I'm out."
Hayden Clarke: "You can't do that!"

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The Good Wife




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