Assistant US Attorney and Special Prosecutor Wendy Scott-Carr was, and ever is, the worst. She's after Will, possibly all of Lockhart, Gardner, possibly Peter Florrick, possibly she aims to bring about the Apocalypse, or what some call Ragnarok, the Twilight Of The Gods. Today, her Grand Jury is finally empanelled.
Peter's good wife and Wendy's opposite number, Alicia Florrick, broke up with her boyfriend and worried ceaselessly about how sucky her daughter is. Oh, and Amy Sedaris drew Eli Cummings's ire in a high-stakes competition for the love of Corn, resulting in a Gnome Battle the likes of which we haven't seen since Elsbeth Tascioni last went looking for an intern.
Grand Jurors grandly sketch a variety of things while Wendy Scott-Carr tells them how to indict a ham sandwich named William Hall Gardner, because nobody knows how a Grand Jury works: There's no defense, just the presentation of evidence, after which the Grand Jurors will grandly indict him, because that's how the world works, and in fact the only person in history to slip the ham sandwich indictment is the cunning Kalinda Sharma.
Diane: "Alicia, I have some stuff to tell you about the indictment coming up."
Alicia: "Judicial bribery? I don't know anything about this storyline."
Diane: "Let me explain it to you for a long time. Basketball games, felony bribery."
Alicia: "This is coming from Wendy? Or from Peter? Because either it's totally my fault, or mostly my fault."
Diane, verbatim: "Both, I should think."
Alicia: "Then that means it's entirely my fault? I hate guilt."
Diane: "Don't feel guilty or responsible for this. Actually, responsibility is the wrong word because it implies an accountability we've never actually put on you. To be completely honest, we don't consider you as somebody related to the SA's office and you don't act like one, so do whatever you're going to do. That was code."
Alicia: "Always with the code talk from this one."
Caitlin: "Mrs. Florrick, can I stay far away from this bullshit?"
Alicia: "Yeah, go help Eli with his incoming Sedaris problem. I don't want anybody to see the creepster shit I am about to pull."
Alicia: "That empty chair where my husband usually is... Hmm. I better get the fuck out of here, actually."
Peter: "...Alicia! Are you maybe here about my vicious dog going after your boyfriend?"
Alicia: "No, it was about your loudmouthed old bitch of a mother, I can come back."
Peter: "And yet."