The Good Wife
Another Ham Sandwich

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 12 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Will v. Grace

Still safe. I'd hate to think they'd somehow accidentally or not-so-accidentally outmaneuver themselves into having sex just because it's funny. They lean closer, closer. It is unnerving!

Stacie's sing-songy, creepy version of sexy: "You don't seem be swerving off the ro-oad..."
Eli: "Then do-on't..."
Stacie: "We're gonna cra-ash..."
Eli: "Unless you swer-ve..."

They kiss. It looks like tiny people kissing, but it feels like those rats that time. She leans back and smiles... And he reveals that he won the GLAC account. She jumps back, hurt and a little angry.

Eli: "Where's your desire now? And don't think I'm lying; I know you were expecting a call an hour ago, which I received."
Stacie: "[Fuck!]"
Eli: "I still desire you... The way a victor desires his spoils."

Stacie, as though that were some kind of pantydropper and not the most unappealing thing a person could ever say, just gets sadder and madder.

Eli: "Get those tiny little wheels turning in your head. How are you going to play this? Pride? Cuteness? Creepy as shit?"
Stacie: "The latter. Let's go. Let's have intercourse."

And they do. Man, when they were calling it a car wreck they weren't joking around. Good Lord!

INDICTMENT

Wendy Scott-Carr: "If there are no further questions, it's ham sandwich time. Two felonies in play, jerks. Go."
Juror: "I have a question?"
Wendy Scott-Carr: "Fuckin' what? Ham sandwich, idiot."
Juror: "You said No further questions but I have a further question, which is who the hell was this Peter Florrick everybody kept bringing up every time they opened their mouths?"
Cary: "Oh I got this one, Wendy."

There's my boy.

Female Juror: "Wait, so isn't it weird to bring in his wife?"
Wendy Scott-Carr: "I can only answer questions about the ham sandwich..."
Juror: "I mean, who cares who she sleeps with? If she's getting some, great."
Grand Jury: Yeah! Sex! Hilarious! Alicia's getting laid!

Male Juror: "And how come you're bringing in Will anyway? At least he answered the questions, unlike Judge Plead-The-Fifth..."
Awesome Old Lady Juror: "I know, right?"
Female Juror: "You know what, maybe this judge knows Peter Florrick, and they should both be arrested..."
Wendy Scott-Carr: "-- Oh shit, you guys. Stop this right now..."
Male Juror: "Florrick and the judge are in it together, I think."
Grand Jury: "We weren't listening when you explained how basic laws and things work! We are off the chain!"
Wendy Scott-Carr: "But that's not even how it..."
Grand Jury: "Indict Peter Florrick! Indict Peter Florrick! Indict Peter Florrick!"
Wendy Scott-Carr: "FFFFFFFFFFUUUUU"

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The Good Wife

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