Eli calls Alicia from the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Of Chicago, where he has found Caitlin and not Alicia, which pisses him off. And how come? Not because she's an amazing lawyer or the only friend he has, but because Alicia is... A gay icon! Apparently. She thinks that's funnier than anybody.
Eli: "The gay blogosphere is all about your operatic romantic destruction, and they want to give me a lot of money to campaign against DOMA, and you are my spurned white lady in the hole. I can't be having some cute little blonde..."
Anna Camp, Total Gay Icon: "-- Uh..."
Alicia: "I'd love to sit there with you signing gay autographs, but trust me on this. You are a vicious monster of a PR agent, and you haven't considered the fact that Caitlin is David Lee's niece..."
Eli: "Are we finally admitting that David Lee is gay?"
Alicia: "No, just that he's the head of family law and you're talking about marriage..."
Eli: "We need to talk more, but right now I have to head-butt a tiny little Sedaris."
Gay Icon Amy Sedaris: "I! Am! Adorable!"
Eli: "Stop trying to be my friend, with your silly rounded little lapels."
Stacie Hall: "Let's have lunch! You have so much to teach me!"
Eli: "Even though you are the only person on this planet shorter than me, it would not be satisfying. Stop trying to get my job."
Stacie: "Okay, instead of lunch let's have drinks. Hot drinks! Mulled wine!"
Cute Gay Receptionist: "GLAC."
Eli: "Hey, this is Stacie Hall's assistant and I was just calling to tell you that she needs to change her next meeting with you around because she is meeting with Rush Limbaugh."
Eli: "I know, bitch!"
Wendy Scott-Carr: "Ms. Lockhart, you're aware that your partner is a scoundrel, yes?"
Diane: "Tell me what you are talking about."
Wendy Scott-Carr: "Like, before you became his partner you were aware that he stole $45 grand from a client's account to pay off his Lisa Cuddy gambling debts?"
Diane, awesome: "The sum total of things of which I am aware comes from the time that you questioned me in my office, implying that State's Attorney and future governor Peter Florrick didn't have enough information to proceed with this sham."
Cary: "Did she just say my boss's name? Better stop doodling."