Cook County (American Psycho): Captain ASA Laura Hellinger vs. Will Gardner, Judge Jane Alexander presiding.
Grundy County (Killer Hobo): Becky Ann Baker vs. Some Guy Named Tripke, Judge Stephen Root presiding.

Now, you probably know that very few ladies have the key to my personal pair of rollerskates -- and long-time readers have bravely faced this Becky Ann Baker thing with me many times before -- but what you may not know, or even find that interesting, is that the only episode of the show Star Trek: Voyager that I can clearly remember seeing, I remember to a great extent because Becky Ann Baker, in it, caused me to radically reassess the basics of my situation. Not even that long ago, actually. As endlessly fascinating as I do find myself, I think it's encouraging to note that one can still be surprised every now and then. I recommend that episode vociferously. It's very good in many ways, even if it doesn't spontaneously demonstrate to you that human sexuality is a moving target. Suffice to say that, when I wed, there will be only one name on my List, and it will not be a fella.

(What you might find more relevant than my psychosexual issues, though, is that the "Baker" in "Becky Ann Baker" also stands for "Dylan Baker", i.e., Colin Sweeney is her husband. Although isn't it so funny that BAB and Jane Alexander are on the same episode? Throw in Helen Mirren and you'd have a MILF Attack Squad of a size equal to the average episode's list of Out Gay Man Guest Stars.)

Gardner's client, American Psycho, is a respected executive with no motive or record, while Tripke's client, Killer Hobo, clearly has killed many women just from looking at him -- and, Becky Ann Baker's protestations aside, was stalking Brandi and maybe followed her to the festival.

BAB: "The murder didn't take place in Minooka, it took place in Chicago. Yes, the body was transported here, but this is big-city business. Not our business. I'll tell you why Gary's being prosecuted here. Because Cook County didn't think there was enough evidence to charge him..."
Objection: Sustained.