COOK COUNTY (AMERICAN PSYCHO)

Brandt Claussen, OLS Security: "We are first, and we are fast."
Laura: "Okay, so you were at what we're calling Alt-O-Rama that night. Did you see Brandi hanging out with American Psycho?"
Claussen: "Yeah. They were fighting and they went into the woods and she started screaming."
Laura: "Screaming? Goodness. Screaming what, pray tell?"
Will: "Hearsay!"
Laura: "Insofar as he's 'saying' what he 'heard,' Your Honor."

(Actually, the Captain gives them a res gestae exception, which is when the things being reported as said are "so spontaneous as to belie concoction," which I include since I have never and maybe will never understand how hearsay works. I mean, he's just testifying that he heard the chick talking, not saying it's evidence that anything else was going on. Right?)

Claussen: "Get away from me! Stop it! And that was the extent of her screaming, which ended abruptly, so I ran out there into the woods and found no Brandi, only bloody clothes. I guess American Psycho had taken her body..."
Objection: Sustained, obviously.

Will produces earplugs, which are provided by the stadium and which he was wearing that night, and then has him put them in and sends Kalinda out into the hallway. Not quite as far away as he is testifying the screaming took place, but that just better makes the point

Kalinda: "I'm not being murdered! I'm just screaming in the hallway!"

Everybody loves it, even the Captain, in large part because Kalinda is wonderful. Heading out, the Captain puts on a brave face for Will, but the second he's gone she calls Matan for more help. To be the Alicia, in fact, and run interference for the other side. Which, Stephen Root will point this out later, but that means that the two defense teams are now helping the two SA's, cats are lying down with dogs, etc.

GIRL TIME

Kalinda: "Alicia, aren't you supposed to be in Grundy County?"
Alicia: "Yeah, I'm running late. Hey, should I be afraid of your husband?"

And that, my friends, is all she wrote. Simples things up real goddamn fast, doesn't it?

Kalinda: "Uh, not in about five fucking minutes you shouldn't."

Which I said this in the recaplet already, but what an elegant and moving solution to the Season Four Kalinda Problem. So much so that it seems like this would have been the endgame of the Nick story no matter how long it went on: He can dick around all he wants, throw all these fits -- K doesn't even seem to have noticed the Cary part -- but you come after Alicia? Oh, hell no.